August 8, 2015

Something Jesus Will Never Say

Gary Thomas — 

Something Jesus Will Never Say final

“Faithful” isn’t the most exciting of words. It’s kind of boring. You won’t read of a Nicholas Sparks’ hero telling his girlfriend, “I just want to be faithful to you my entire life.”

A movie won’t raise a crescendo of music as one lover tells another, “You’re so faithful. So faithful.”

We relish and cry on expressions of feeling and sentiment, not promises of commitment.

Look, I love sentiment as much as anyone, but if I want to experience a truly sacred marriage, I’ve got to step out of my culture and learn to value faithfulness over sentiment.

Consider how the book of Hebrews exalts faithfulness. The writer says that Jesus “was faithful to the one who appointed him, just as Moses also ‘was faithful in all God’s house.’” (3:1-2)

God has appointed me to be my wife’s spouse. God has entrusted me with His daughter. As a Christian, more than I want to experience anything else in this life, I should want to experience being found faithful. “Now Moses was faithful in all God’s house as a servant… Christ…was faithful over God’s house as a son.” (3:5-6)

This doesn’t sound “sexy.” You’ll never see a Cosmopolitan cover proclaiming, “Ten New Ways to Be Found Faithful!” But if I take my walking orders from Scripture my heart should be focused, my mind should be fixed, and my will should be settled on being a faithful husband.

What does it mean to be faithful?

Think of yourself as a “house manager.” If a manager notices a small leak in the roof but never checks it out, when the owner discovers rot has set in the manager won’t be considered “faithful.” He’ll be considered negligent. Being faithful means more than just showing up. It means being engaged, interested, taking initiative, moving toward my spouse, and serving my spouse. When a husband or wife is struggling or in need of support, a faithful spouse takes notice and steps in to help.

If you care at all about eternity, then know this: you’ll never hear Jesus say, “Well done my good and infatuated servant!” What will we hear?

“Well done my good and faithful servant.”

This week, focus on your faithfulness. How faithful are you? Are you there for your spouse? Can your spouse count on you? Are you fully engaged in your marriage? Are you taking care of your spouse emotionally, relationally, spiritually, and physically? If you look at your marriage through the prism of God entrusting the care of His son or daughter to you, would He say you’ve been a faithful steward?


A special note: this week marks the release of the new and updated version of Sacred Marriage: What if God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy? If you’ve been waiting to check out this book, now is the perfect time.

Small Sacred Marriage Image



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5 responses to Something Jesus Will Never Say

  1. Gary, I do have “Life Long Love” just haven’t taken the time to read it yet. Thank you for your honesty in the difference between the two books. Because of the issue going on in my marriage I’m going to read “False Intimacy”.

  2. Especially appreciated the house manager analogy – very helpful. Hope you keep writing blogs on marriage for many years to come.

  3. Good Morning Gary, I read Sacred Marriage a couple years ago and Sacred Influence. Looking forward to reading the up dated version of Sacred Marriage. I can’t imagine what else you would have to say. Sacred Marriage was an excellent book, full of scripture, and life changing advice. This will be a must read book. I just resently order and received a book you had recommended to me on one of the your other blogs “False Intamacy”. I feel with all I have been going through with my husband maybe it’s time to read your new book Sacred Marriage. I loved your blog today I am in a 40 year marriage and at the time in my life when I’m thinking “Do I want to keep doing this”. Sacred Marriage and a lot of biblical counseling has helped me realize “yes I do, I will keep pushing forward”.

    • Thanks for the kind words. Just so you know, the “new” Sacred Marriage is updated, but not rewritten. In all honesty, I’m not sure you would want to buy a brand new copy if you have the old one. I didn’t add to it–just clarified a few points, shortened it a bit, expanded a very few points just a tad. If you want something new, I’d recommend “A Lifelong Love.”

  4. Wow. Where was this wise counsel when I first married?! Oh, thank You, Jesus, that it is never too late to heed this advice! Today is a new day and His mercies are new. Praise Him! Most excellent, Gary. Let us not forget there is also a verbal faithfulness that seems to be especially difficult for us women. Psalm 141 is my daily prayer. O LORD, may we be Your faithful servants!