Sacred Search


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What if it’s not about who you marry, but why?

The author of Sacred Marriage reminds singles that if they don’t know why to marry, they won’t know who to marry.

In The Sacred Search, Gary Thomas challenges readers to think beyond finding a “soul mate” and to look for a “sole mate”—someone who will walk with them on their spiritual journey. Turning conventional dating wisdom upside-down, Thomas asks: What if there’s no such thing as “the one”—there’s something even better in God’s plan? What if being “in love” isn’t a good enough reason to get married? What if God designed marriage to make us holy rather than happy?

The Sacred Search casts a vision for building a relationship around a shared spiritual mission-and making a marriage with eternity at its heart.

Radio Interviews:


“The Sacred Search is a gut check for anyone considering, delaying, or even pursuing marriage. If marriage scares you, read this book and be encouraged. If you feel you are not ready for marriage, then please read and be prepared. If the critics tell you it ain’t worth it, I beg you to read this book and learn how to honor marriage.”
– Ted Cunningham, author of Young and in Love and Trophy Child

“The Sacred Search will help those who desire marriage to pursue it in a manner that deepens their faith, honors God, and blesses their future spouse.”
– Jim Daly, president of Focus on the Family

“Filled with questions to make you think and teaching that will bring ‘aha’ moments, this book is a must-read for everyone considering marriage. I highly recommend it to you – I wish I’d had it when I was single!”
– Linda Dillow, author of best-selling Calm My Anxious Heart and What’s It Like to be Married to Me?

“[Gary’s] comprehensive look at romantic relationships through psychological, emotional, physical, and spiritual perspectives gives the reader a framework for understanding the why of marriage in a world that is grossly fixated on the who. His appeal to a kingdom-first perspective gives both hope and healing for a generation in desperate need of a fresh and Christ-centered understanding of God’s plan for marriage. This book is a must-read before anyone says ‘I do.'”
– Michelle Anthony, Family Ministry Architect for David C. Cook and author of Spiritual Parenting and Dreaming of More for the Next Generation

“In The Sacred Search, Gary Thomas clearly, relevantly, and scripturally debunks common myths that stunt singles. He helps us see the fallacy of searching for our ‘soul mate’ and waiting around for ‘the one.’ This book will help singles make wiser choices about who we marry because it explores why we marry.”
– Lindsey Nobles, blogger,

“‘Why should I get married?’ could be the most important question millennials are asking. Gary Thomas helps this generation navigate the ‘why’ in a Christ-honoring way. A long-awaited tool for how singles can navigate the difficult waters of dating and how to make finding a mate a holy pursuit.”
– Esther Fleece, culture communicator, millennial expert, and former millennial relations assistant at Focus on the Family

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