April 28, 2014

Single Men, Save Up for the Wedding Ring Now

Gary Thomas — 

 

photo by Taryn, Creative Commons

photo by Taryn, Creative Commons

A friend of mine started saving for his wife’s wedding ring from the time he was in his mid-teens. He didn’t save much, of course. Sometimes he’d put just five or ten dollars in a jar. That isn’t enough to clean most wedding rings, much less purchase a high-quality diamond, but the amount wasn’t really the point. Every time he put money in the jar, he prayed for his future wife.

“Lord, keep her heart pure.” 

“Lord, help her draw near to you today.”

“Lord, help me become the kind of man she’ll want to marry.”

And what do you think it meant to his future wife when she found out he had been saving for her ring and praying for her before he even knew her?

That’s right. She felt like the luckiest women in the world.

One of the many things I like about this is that it encourages young men to begin thinking about marriage now, to start praying for their wives even before they know who their wives are, and to literally start caring for their wives even before they meet them.

I love this.

So, guys, it’s not about the amount as much as it’s about the intent, and the prayer, and the thoughtfulness. You’re starting to save up—a good, responsible, thing to do. You’re setting a pattern of looking at a woman as someone you want to prepare for and care for and pray for. Perhaps you’re even denying yourself a little treat in order to have something left over to put in that jar (or bank account). Even better!

Just start saving now. Let the financial cost of the wedding ring prepare your spiritual heart and mind, bending it toward marriage, toward responsibility, toward a God honoring life.

I know women will want to ask me, “Can’t we do the same thing, and save up for our husband’s ring?”

Sure. It’s just that my wedding ring cost Lisa less than a hundred bucks. You can start saving two weeks before the wedding and come up with that, but maybe guys’ rings cost more now.

What age do I think is appropriate to teach this? I’m not a professional counselor, but I’m thinking middle school—say, the 8th grade—sounds like a reasonable age to start a young man down this road.

 

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10 responses to Single Men, Save Up for the Wedding Ring Now

  1. It’s a touching thought but telling young men to start saving money for a wife in the 8th grade is a bit much, I think. I’m all for mentally and spiritually being ready and understanding what a Godly marriage is. But at the same time, our hope and trust, my hope and trust, is in that God *will* keep his promises that are told to us in His word. And marriage is not one of His promises. My hope and trust is not in the things that I want Him to give me. So I personally, will not be putting away money for a future husband. Whenever I think about saving money, I think of the widows offering. She didn’t give 10% or even 50% but she gave 100%, all that she had. She could have easily only given one coin and kept the other to save, a 50% tithe is still a great deal, but she gave it all. Her hope and trust was that God would provide, in whatever way He thought fit. It was all for Him, not divided up among the things she wanted to buy in the future but 100% for his glory. “41 And he sat down opposite the treasury and watched the people putting money into the offering box. Many rich people put in large sums. 42 And a poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, which make a penny.43 And he called his disciples to him and said to them, “Truly, I say to you, this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing to the offering box. 44 For they all contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, all she had to live on.” Mark 12. I have heard this verse many times but the first time I heard it in my adult years, when I actually had money, it brought me to tears. “Am I giving 100% to the Lord?” No. Am I saving and keeping my money (and time) for myself, for my hearts desires? Yes. I often check myself and ask why I’m saving money. And I often find that I am keeping it for my own selfish reasons. I wish I could give it all to the Lord.
    I may not ever have a husband yet I might, I don’t know but what I do know is that everything I have now is the Lords, so I will, with His grace, give it all to Him. I don’t know if I will marry but I do know that the poor are all around me and that I am to care for them and for the orphans and widows. That’s why the widow was able to give it all, because she knew of Gods promise, she knew that we are commanded to care for them. “Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.” James 1:27
    Give it all away. My hope and trust is in the fulfilment of Gods promises told to us in His word.

  2. My husband actually did this for me and I sure did feel like the “luckiest girl in the world” – first of all to marry him and second, that he had been preparing his heart and financially as well! I love that you are encouraging men. You’ve been a blessing to both my husband and me. We met you at a marriage conference last February at Rock Harbor Church in Orange County, CA. Thanks for letting God speak through you!!!

  3. One corresponding item for me as a woman has been saving for the wedding itself. Because my dad died when I was young and my mom had many children to care and provide for, I do not have any assistance with paying for the wedding ceremony & reception. So while I have had the blessing of a well-paying full-time job during my twenties, I’ve been saving so that if, Lord-willing, I marry someday, we can have a nice wedding without going into debt! And if I don’t marry, I’ll have a down-payment on a house or whatever… anyway, just an idea.

  4. Girls can start saving for and putting away linens and other things for their household. It used to be common to have a hope chest and as preparation embroider kitchen towels, save recipes, etc. I think it’s a great idea to be planning for the future. Helps keep you focused on what is long term and good, not just short term ‘fun’.

  5. Michelle kizewski April 29, 2014 at 11:02 pm

    Why could the women be saving to pay for his tux or for a down payment on their furniture…it could be anything that would help them as a couple…the prayers are the most important part…or start a journal with her prayers and wishes for him…then present that to him on their wedding day.

  6. Love it. Shared it. Will teach this to our sons.

  7. Fantastic idea Gary – I look forward to sharing with my sons and daughters.

    I think this would work just fine for girls. How great would it be if she saved for an extravagant gift of her own. She could let him know that she has been praying for him, saving herself and money, and wants to honor him as they married!

    • I agree John. It doesn’t have to be a ring… (Just speaking for myself, I wouldn’t want to wear a piece of jewelry that was very costly to begin with)

  8. Livhuwani Matsila April 29, 2014 at 5:52 am

    As a single man, I find this post very enlightening and encouraging man. Bless you…