Archives For singles

Jason (not his real name) is one of the over fifty-percent of men who struggle mightily with pornography. It was causing him to miss out on life and regularly be angry with his wife (an often-ignored “secret” is that porn is cultivating an entire generation of angry husbands). One time, after an hours-long binge in […]

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One of the most common questions I get about my book for singles, The Sacred Search, which gives a lot of advice about what to look for and what to avoid when choosing someone to marry, is “What if you can’t find a person like the one you describe?” Singles who ask this question, and […]

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A model in the 2013 issue of Sports Illustrated’s swimsuit edition called herself a “grandma” because she was appearing in her ninth consecutive issue. It’s apparently unusual for a model to do that kind of modeling for nearly a decade. Think about this—nine years and she’s a “grandma.” My wife and I have been married […]

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One of the least productive, and indeed most destructive mental exercises in marriage is to spend any time asking ourselves a spiritually dangerous question: “Did I marry the right person?” This question saps energy from something that can be done—focusing on taking a less than ideal situation to a better place—at the cost of solving […]

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How earnestly do you want to feel close to your spouse? Enough to kill something for it? “Anna’s” dad was an alcoholic, in the worst sort of way. Many noble people fight against this addiction, but some—Anna’s father—never bothered to fight. He just surrendered to its allure and allowed his family to deal with the […]

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“Taylor” met her boyfriend her freshman year in college. They started dating that fall and never broke up, so when Christmas break of her senior year rolled around and graduation was looming, she was hoping for and kind of expecting an engagement ring for Christmas. When she didn’t get one, and her boyfriend didn’t even […]

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April 9, 2016

Dysfunction is a Choice

Gary Thomas — 

Statistics can be terrifying. If a boy’s dad was abusive or unfaithful to his wife, the chances are overwhelmingly higher that he will grow up to be an abuser or to cheat on his wife. If a woman isn’t nurtured by her mom and was raised by an addict, she is far more likely to […]

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It’s a sobering thought, but it’s true: once a romantic relationship gets started between two believers there are only one of two options—you’re going to get married or you’re going to break up. Breakups are of course far more common, and January in particular is a huge month for relationship breakups so what are the […]

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November 19, 2015

Make Me Laugh

Gary Thomas — 

As we enter the holidays, here’s something to think about to inject new life into your marriage and family: Laugh together. Think about how to make each other laugh uproariously. Life is tough. Things get serious. If we stop laughing part of us dies. In a very real sense, to stop laughing is to stop […]

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October 24, 2015

Please Don’t Marry Him

Gary Thomas — 

My heart is grieving. I’ve received several Facebook messages from women who asked my advice about a dysfunctional dating relationship when The Sacred Search first came out several years ago. Each one noticed several “red flags” in their dating relationship and asked me if I thought they should be concerned. In every case, the answer […]

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