Archives For marriage

This blog spends plenty of time helping spouses deal with disappointment and difficult marriages. In this post, however, I want to encourage couples who are happy in their relationship and delighted with each other by providing a “trick” to further increase that love and happiness. Happy couples get far too little attention in blogs and […]

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How many times have you done what you genuinely believed was best for your kids or spouse—your entire motivation was their well-being—and they responded with, “Why do you hate me?” It’s excruciating to exhibit love and have the person you love respond with charges of hate. You do something for your spouse, or say something […]

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  Wives, there’s something you need to know about your husbands that many women don’t know. Your husbands aren’t likely to tell you about it, because they fear it might sound self-serving or perhaps that it might terrify you. So let me be your husband’s advocate and tell you something that you need to know […]

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September 9, 2016

What Your Spouse Needs Most

Gary Thomas — 

Your spouse may not realize what he or she needs most, but if you want a sacred marriage, you have to focus on what he or she will profit from the most. Jesus didn’t always give people what they wanted or asked for. He gave them what they needed. If we want to love like […]

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August 31, 2016

Celebrating “Okay” Sex

Gary Thomas — 

  What if “okay sex” is okay? Where do we get our expectations that every act of marital sex is supposed to be a candidate for the highlight reel of marital ecstasy? In our ever present desire to “one up” the world, Christians are fond of exaggerating. That’s in part what led me to write […]

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After a Sacred Search conference in which I had laid out essential character traits to look for in a future spouse, a group of six men asked a question. Five of them were convinced by what I had said; one wasn’t, and he’s the one who asked the question in the form of several statements: […]

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August 10, 2016

How Porn Creates Angry Men

Gary Thomas — 

Plenty of research has come out about porn’s effects on men—erectile dysfunction, making your brain less attracted to your wife, distorting a man’s view of women overall, etc.  One I haven’t seen listed, though, is anger. Men who regularly give in to porn often have a lot of anger toward their wives. I’m not a […]

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Jason (not his real name) is one of the over fifty-percent of men who struggle mightily with pornography. It was causing him to miss out on life and regularly be angry with his wife (an often-ignored “secret” is that porn is cultivating an entire generation of angry husbands). One time, after an hours-long binge in […]

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I (Patrick) have a bit of a reputation for running out of gas, perhaps because I once read an article that said gas pumps have more germs than a toilet seat. I don’t know how many germs that is, but it’s enough for me not to want to touch either one too often. Or maybe […]

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One of the most common questions I get about my book for singles, The Sacred Search, which gives a lot of advice about what to look for and what to avoid when choosing someone to marry, is “What if you can’t find a person like the one you describe?” Singles who ask this question, and […]

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