Archives For marriage

April 20, 2017

Your Boyfriend’s Brain

Gary Thomas — 

  Single women, your boyfriend’s brain is very different than yours. If you try to evaluate him like you’d evaluate a girlfriend or sister, you’re going to fail. You’ll miss cues. The male brain and the female brain diverge immediately upon conception. So, if you want to make a wise marital match, spend a little […]

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April 5, 2017

Good People

Gary Thomas — 

By God’s grace, I’ve been fortunate to meet many of the people who often make news; because some of them happen to be conservative Christians who occasionally take politically unpopular stands, the news isn’t always so kind. Then you meet them face to face and are overwhelmed by the quality of faith and kindness and […]

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March 28, 2017

Real Repentance

Gary Thomas — 

“Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. 11 See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done.” 2 Corinthians 7:10-11 If a spouse has been […]

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There’s a simple definition of cherishing that doesn’t fully encompass the word, but it’s an essential slice of it. If you cherish someone, you seek to enhance their life. If you cherish a diamond, you set it in gold and regularly shine it. If you cherish a car, it gets washes and waxes and you […]

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It has been so exciting for Lisa and me to watch the enthusiastic reception of Cherish. We’re so glad this message is taking root and re-energizing marriages and re-adjusting goals. One caveat is in order, however: the central message of Sacred Marriage is still true: marriages aren’t easy, but God can use the difficulties and […]

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While writing Cherish, a good friend of mine who does a lot of counseling warned me that many spouses—up to 30%, in fact—actively resist being cherished by their spouse. They sabotage their own happiness because they don’t see themselves as “cherishable” and thus resist any efforts their spouse might make to cherish them. If you […]

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Singles seeking to marry well can learn so much from a man who got married four hundred years ago. He made a supremely wise choice for all the right reasons and benefitted immensely because of it. Don’t be freaked out that he was a Puritan. Richard Baxter (1615-1691) lived half his life as a single […]

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Readers, When I was writing Cherish, I’d ask wives how they wanted to be cherished. If you poured a cup of coffee right away, it would be room temperature by the time most of them stopped talking. When I’d ask men how they like to be cherished, the most common answer was, “Do you want […]

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If you want to make this Valentine’s Day special, in addition to shopping for the lingerie and chocolate, spend some extra time worshipping God. It’s not that I have anything against chocolate or lingerie (especially lingerie), but three decades of marriage have taught me that personal worship is an absolute must to sustain a strong […]

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February 9, 2017

Forsaking All Others

Gary Thomas — 

Being closer to anyone other than your spouse is a betrayal of your wedding vows. When we think of betraying our wedding vows, we usually think of something sexual or romantic. But there’s a far more common betrayal that isn’t about romance or sex; it’s about emotional connection or relational dependence. The reality is that […]

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