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My friend Dr. Mike Dittman offers a profoundly refreshing new approach to “counseling.” This is so applicable to friendship, marriage, and parenting: “People have often asked me to help them figure something out or fix something in their lives. They want answers to their questions and affirmation in their struggles, but not to learn how […]

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March 7, 2016

Something New

Gary Thomas — 

  There are oceans of marriage experiences out there just waiting to be explored. Too many of us keep swimming in the same kiddie pool. Danger Mouse (a producer and musician from LA) was in a bar shooting pool when he heard a song come over the speakers that mesmerized him. “I just sat and […]

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In my last post I talked about “functional fixedness,” addressing the question, “What if your husband isn’t motivated by your pain? What if he’s only motivated by his?” We addressed the spiritual issues behind this attitude. You can read that post Why Men Don’t Change. In this post, we’re going to address some of the […]

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February 6, 2016

Why Men Don’t Change

Gary Thomas — 

  What if your husband isn’t motivated by your pain? What if he’s only motivated by his? Many wives live with great frustration because they keep telling their husbands that something he is doing (or not doing) is causing them great pain, but the husband never changes. This confuses the wife. She thinks, “If I […]

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  The very best gift you can give your spouse, spiritually, is a gift that will actually serve you as much as it serves your spouse. Ask yourself, “How can I help my spouse draw closer to God and learn to draw from Him on a daily basis?” Anything you can do to help your […]

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January 9, 2016

He Lies

Gary Thomas — 

He lies to you, all the time. Jesus called Satan “the Father of lies,” and if you want an abundant life and marriage, you have to discern those lies. Satan takes normal marital doldrums and turns it into the story of your life. “It won’t get better, it can’t get better. Your only hope is […]

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December 23, 2015

Make God Happy

Gary Thomas — 

“So we make it our goal to please Him…” 2 Corinthians 5:9 The large woman wearing a maid’s uniform walked into my hotel room and breathed a sigh of relief. “Why, it’s already almost clean!” she said. “And it smells good, too!” Before this encounter (years ago), I never thought of what those who clean […]

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November 19, 2015

Make Me Laugh

Gary Thomas — 

As we enter the holidays, here’s something to think about to inject new life into your marriage and family: Laugh together. Think about how to make each other laugh uproariously. Life is tough. Things get serious. If we stop laughing part of us dies. In a very real sense, to stop laughing is to stop […]

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“How do I endure being married to someone who isn’t as strong of a believer as I am?” This is a frequent question, most often asked by wives. John Wesley, the renowned 18th century teacher and founder of Methodism, might suggest you are in a particularly fruitful spiritual condition able to grow in ways you […]

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October 24, 2015

Please Don’t Marry Him

Gary Thomas — 

My heart is grieving. I’ve received several Facebook messages from women who asked my advice about a dysfunctional dating relationship when The Sacred Search first came out several years ago. Each one noticed several “red flags” in their dating relationship and asked me if I thought they should be concerned. In every case, the answer […]

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