Archives For dating

November 29, 2016

Enough is Enough

Gary Thomas — 

“If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple.” Luke 14:26 What does it mean to “hate” someone we are elsewhere called to sacrificially love? We are told to love even our enemies, yet Jesus here […]

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I’ve found men are most motivated to change during two times in a romantic relationship: Prior to the wedding (to get the woman to agree to marry them) and When a wife files for divorce. Those are the easiest times to get a man to reconsider and reform long-standing bad habits. If you’re single, you […]

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After a Sacred Search conference in which I had laid out essential character traits to look for in a future spouse, a group of six men asked a question. Five of them were convinced by what I had said; one wasn’t, and he’s the one who asked the question in the form of several statements: […]

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One of the most common questions I get about my book for singles, The Sacred Search, which gives a lot of advice about what to look for and what to avoid when choosing someone to marry, is “What if you can’t find a person like the one you describe?” Singles who ask this question, and […]

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A model in the 2013 issue of Sports Illustrated’s swimsuit edition called herself a “grandma” because she was appearing in her ninth consecutive issue. It’s apparently unusual for a model to do that kind of modeling for nearly a decade. Think about this—nine years and she’s a “grandma.” My wife and I have been married […]

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One of the least productive, and indeed most destructive mental exercises in marriage is to spend any time asking ourselves a spiritually dangerous question: “Did I marry the right person?” This question saps energy from something that can be done—focusing on taking a less than ideal situation to a better place—at the cost of solving […]

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How earnestly do you want to feel close to your spouse? Enough to kill something for it? “Anna’s” dad was an alcoholic, in the worst sort of way. Many noble people fight against this addiction, but some—Anna’s father—never bothered to fight. He just surrendered to its allure and allowed his family to deal with the […]

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“Taylor” met her boyfriend her freshman year in college. They started dating that fall and never broke up, so when Christmas break of her senior year rolled around and graduation was looming, she was hoping for and kind of expecting an engagement ring for Christmas. When she didn’t get one, and her boyfriend didn’t even […]

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April 9, 2016

Dysfunction is a Choice

Gary Thomas — 

Statistics can be terrifying. If a boy’s dad was abusive or unfaithful to his wife, the chances are overwhelmingly higher that he will grow up to be an abuser or to cheat on his wife. If a woman isn’t nurtured by her mom and was raised by an addict, she is far more likely to […]

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February 6, 2016

Why Men Don’t Change

Gary Thomas — 

  What if your husband isn’t motivated by your pain? What if he’s only motivated by his? Many wives live with great frustration because they keep telling their husbands that something he is doing (or not doing) is causing them great pain, but the husband never changes. This confuses the wife. She thinks, “If I […]

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