Archives For dating

A model in the 2013 issue of Sports Illustrated’s swimsuit edition called herself a “grandma” because she was appearing in her ninth consecutive issue. It’s apparently unusual for a model to do that kind of modeling for nearly a decade. Think about this—nine years and she’s a “grandma.” My wife and I have been married […]

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One of the least productive, and indeed most destructive mental exercises in marriage is to spend any time asking ourselves a spiritually dangerous question: “Did I marry the right person?” This question saps energy from something that can be done—focusing on taking a less than ideal situation to a better place—at the cost of solving […]

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How earnestly do you want to feel close to your spouse? Enough to kill something for it? “Anna’s” dad was an alcoholic, in the worst sort of way. Many noble people fight against this addiction, but some—Anna’s father—never bothered to fight. He just surrendered to its allure and allowed his family to deal with the […]

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“Taylor” met her boyfriend her freshman year in college. They started dating that fall and never broke up, so when Christmas break of her senior year rolled around and graduation was looming, she was hoping for and kind of expecting an engagement ring for Christmas. When she didn’t get one, and her boyfriend didn’t even […]

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April 9, 2016

Dysfunction is a Choice

Gary Thomas — 

Statistics can be terrifying. If a boy’s dad was abusive or unfaithful to his wife, the chances are overwhelmingly higher that he will grow up to be an abuser or to cheat on his wife. If a woman isn’t nurtured by her mom and was raised by an addict, she is far more likely to […]

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February 6, 2016

Why Men Don’t Change

Gary Thomas — 

  What if your husband isn’t motivated by your pain? What if he’s only motivated by his? Many wives live with great frustration because they keep telling their husbands that something he is doing (or not doing) is causing them great pain, but the husband never changes. This confuses the wife. She thinks, “If I […]

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January 9, 2016

He Lies

Gary Thomas — 

He lies to you, all the time. Jesus called Satan “the Father of lies,” and if you want an abundant life and marriage, you have to discern those lies. Satan takes normal marital doldrums and turns it into the story of your life. “It won’t get better, it can’t get better. Your only hope is […]

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It’s a sobering thought, but it’s true: once a romantic relationship gets started between two believers there are only one of two options—you’re going to get married or you’re going to break up. Breakups are of course far more common, and January in particular is a huge month for relationship breakups so what are the […]

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November 19, 2015

Make Me Laugh

Gary Thomas — 

As we enter the holidays, here’s something to think about to inject new life into your marriage and family: Laugh together. Think about how to make each other laugh uproariously. Life is tough. Things get serious. If we stop laughing part of us dies. In a very real sense, to stop laughing is to stop […]

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October 24, 2015

Please Don’t Marry Him

Gary Thomas — 

My heart is grieving. I’ve received several Facebook messages from women who asked my advice about a dysfunctional dating relationship when The Sacred Search first came out several years ago. Each one noticed several “red flags” in their dating relationship and asked me if I thought they should be concerned. In every case, the answer […]

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