Archives For dating

June 23, 2017

In Sickness and in Health

Gary Thomas — 

  I’m rather late with this post. One of the reasons for that is that I’ve been writing a devotional book for engaged couples that will walk them through every line of the traditional “statement of intent” and vows of a wedding ceremony. The idea is that on their wedding day, when they agree to […]

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June 2, 2017

Men We are Third

Gary Thomas — 

  One of the most frequent requests I get is to write a book specifically for husbands. The reason I haven’t done that is largely because publishers know men don’t buy many books. I’ve brought up the possibility of doing a book for men in three different rounds of contract negotiations and the publishers always […]

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Here’s a shocking thought: Most of us approach child-rearing from the perspective of, “How many kids do we want to have?” Will any of us approach parenting from the perspective of “How many children does God want us to have?” Is such a perspective even in the church’s mindset? The very first command God gave […]

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April 20, 2017

Your Boyfriend’s Brain

Gary Thomas — 

  Single women, your boyfriend’s brain is very different than yours. If you try to evaluate him like you’d evaluate a girlfriend or sister, you’re going to fail. You’ll miss cues. The male brain and the female brain diverge immediately upon conception. So, if you want to make a wise marital match, spend a little […]

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There’s a simple definition of cherishing that doesn’t fully encompass the word, but it’s an essential slice of it. If you cherish someone, you seek to enhance their life. If you cherish a diamond, you set it in gold and regularly shine it. If you cherish a car, it gets washes and waxes and you […]

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It has been so exciting for Lisa and me to watch the enthusiastic reception of Cherish. We’re so glad this message is taking root and re-energizing marriages and re-adjusting goals. One caveat is in order, however: the central message of Sacred Marriage is still true: marriages aren’t easy, but God can use the difficulties and […]

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While writing Cherish, a good friend of mine who does a lot of counseling warned me that many spouses—up to 30%, in fact—actively resist being cherished by their spouse. They sabotage their own happiness because they don’t see themselves as “cherishable” and thus resist any efforts their spouse might make to cherish them. If you […]

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Singles seeking to marry well can learn so much from a man who got married four hundred years ago. He made a supremely wise choice for all the right reasons and benefitted immensely because of it. Don’t be freaked out that he was a Puritan. Richard Baxter (1615-1691) lived half his life as a single […]

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February 9, 2017

Forsaking All Others

Gary Thomas — 

Being closer to anyone other than your spouse is a betrayal of your wedding vows. When we think of betraying our wedding vows, we usually think of something sexual or romantic. But there’s a far more common betrayal that isn’t about romance or sex; it’s about emotional connection or relational dependence. The reality is that […]

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There’s a popular joke in New England that expresses just how much affection Patriots fans have for their beloved quarterback. A wife wakes up furious with her husband. “I had a dream last night that you had an affair with Giselle Bundchen!” she shouts and hits him with a pillow. “That’s ridiculous!” the husband protests. […]

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