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There’s a simple definition of cherishing that doesn’t fully encompass the word, but it’s an essential slice of it. If you cherish someone, you seek to enhance their life. If you cherish a diamond, you set it in gold and regularly shine it. If you cherish a car, it gets washes and waxes and you […]

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It has been so exciting for Lisa and me to watch the enthusiastic reception of Cherish. We’re so glad this message is taking root and re-energizing marriages and re-adjusting goals. One caveat is in order, however: the central message of Sacred Marriage is still true: marriages aren’t easy, but God can use the difficulties and […]

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While writing Cherish, a good friend of mine who does a lot of counseling warned me that many spouses—up to 30%, in fact—actively resist being cherished by their spouse. They sabotage their own happiness because they don’t see themselves as “cherishable” and thus resist any efforts their spouse might make to cherish them. If you […]

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Singles seeking to marry well can learn so much from a man who got married four hundred years ago. He made a supremely wise choice for all the right reasons and benefitted immensely because of it. Don’t be freaked out that he was a Puritan. Richard Baxter (1615-1691) lived half his life as a single […]

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February 9, 2017

Forsaking All Others

Gary Thomas — 

Being closer to anyone other than your spouse is a betrayal of your wedding vows. When we think of betraying our wedding vows, we usually think of something sexual or romantic. But there’s a far more common betrayal that isn’t about romance or sex; it’s about emotional connection or relational dependence. The reality is that […]

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There’s a popular joke in New England that expresses just how much affection Patriots fans have for their beloved quarterback. A wife wakes up furious with her husband. “I had a dream last night that you had an affair with Giselle Bundchen!” she shouts and hits him with a pillow. “That’s ridiculous!” the husband protests. […]

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January 10, 2017

A Tale of Two Wives

Gary Thomas — 

“All right,” the event organizer told me, “here’s your ride. His name is Terry.” You’ll have to forgive me for catching my breath, as Terry rolled up in a wheelchair. It was winter in Winnipeg, below freezing, and dark. And my driver, as I already said, was shaking my hand while sitting in a wheelchair. […]

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January 7, 2017

The Marriage You Want

Gary Thomas — 

If you’ve been reading this blog, you’ve heard me talking a lot lately about cherishing our spouse. What does cherish mean? How is cherish different from love? I recently came across a brilliant description of cherishing your spouse that was written hundreds of years ago by a surprising source. I say “surprising” because John Wesley […]

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December 27, 2016

Keeping Your Promise

Gary Thomas — 

  Wayne Williams grew up a Chicago Cubs fan because that was his father’s favorite team. As a young boy he and his dad would watch games on television, or listen to radio broadcasts in the car. The Cubs, of course, were famous for their futility; they hadn’t made it back to a World Series […]

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November 29, 2016

Enough is Enough

Gary Thomas — 

  “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple.” Luke 14:26 What does it mean to “hate” someone we are elsewhere called to sacrificially love? We are told to love even our enemies, yet Jesus […]

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