Archives For dating

Singles seeking to marry well can learn so much from a man who got married four hundred years ago. He made a supremely wise choice for all the right reasons and benefitted immensely because of it. Don’t be freaked out that he was a Puritan. Richard Baxter (1615-1691) lived half his life as a single […]

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February 9, 2017

Forsaking All Others

Gary Thomas — 

Being closer to anyone other than your spouse is a betrayal of your wedding vows. When we think of betraying our wedding vows, we usually think of something sexual or romantic. But there’s a far more common betrayal that isn’t about romance or sex; it’s about emotional connection or relational dependence. The reality is that […]

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There’s a popular joke in New England that expresses just how much affection Patriots fans have for their beloved quarterback. A wife wakes up furious with her husband. “I had a dream last night that you had an affair with Giselle Bundchen!” she shouts and hits him with a pillow. “That’s ridiculous!” the husband protests. […]

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January 10, 2017

A Tale of Two Wives

Gary Thomas — 

“All right,” the event organizer told me, “here’s your ride. His name is Terry.” You’ll have to forgive me for catching my breath, as Terry rolled up in a wheelchair. It was winter in Winnipeg, below freezing, and dark. And my driver, as I already said, was shaking my hand while sitting in a wheelchair. […]

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January 7, 2017

The Marriage You Want

Gary Thomas — 

If you’ve been reading this blog, you’ve heard me talking a lot lately about cherishing our spouse. What does cherish mean? How is cherish different from love? I recently came across a brilliant description of cherishing your spouse that was written hundreds of years ago by a surprising source. I say “surprising” because John Wesley […]

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December 27, 2016

Keeping Your Promise

Gary Thomas — 

  Wayne Williams grew up a Chicago Cubs fan because that was his father’s favorite team. As a young boy he and his dad would watch games on television, or listen to radio broadcasts in the car. The Cubs, of course, were famous for their futility; they hadn’t made it back to a World Series […]

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November 29, 2016

Enough is Enough

Gary Thomas — 

  “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple.” Luke 14:26 What does it mean to “hate” someone we are elsewhere called to sacrificially love? We are told to love even our enemies, yet Jesus […]

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I’ve found men are most motivated to change during two times in a romantic relationship: Prior to the wedding (to get the woman to agree to marry them) and When a wife files for divorce. Those are the easiest times to get a man to reconsider and reform long-standing bad habits. If you’re single, you […]

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After a Sacred Search conference in which I had laid out essential character traits to look for in a future spouse, a group of six men asked a question. Five of them were convinced by what I had said; one wasn’t, and he’s the one who asked the question in the form of several statements: […]

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One of the most common questions I get about my book for singles, The Sacred Search, which gives a lot of advice about what to look for and what to avoid when choosing someone to marry, is “What if you can’t find a person like the one you describe?” Singles who ask this question, and […]

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