Archives For communication

November 20, 2017

The Marriage Saver

Gary Thomas — 

There is one thing that could save you thousands of dollars in marital counseling. It can turn a frustrating marriage into a delightful one. It can turn a barren marriage into a fruitful one. It can turn a hurtful marriage into an encouraging one. Indeed, if we will more earnestly pursue this one spiritual truth […]

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November 14, 2017

Self-Obsession and Marriage

Gary Thomas — 

Your marriage isn’t about you. It’s not even about your marriage. Ultimately, your marriage is about proclaiming the power and glory of Jesus Christ. The problem for most of us is the bent of our lives. Christianity is an extreme religion, but we try to live it in the margins. Jesus said to love the […]

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October 26, 2017

Will You Comfort Her?

Gary Thomas — 

I have a tendency to wake up ridiculously early, often even before four a.m. I’ll try, many times unsuccessfully, to go back to sleep. One morning I just went ahead and got up. An hour or so later, walking out of my office, I saw the master bedroom light turned on underneath the door. That […]

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While working on my book Cherish: The One Word That Changes Everything for Your Marriage, I interviewed a woman who told me about an amazing marital “exercise” she put into practice. She spent an entire year working on her husband’s Christmas present. What she did was write a journal that recorded something she was thankful […]

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I’ve been enjoying Angela Duckworth’s book Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance and one thought in particular stuck out at me that is so relevant for marriage. Duckworth writes primarily about work and vocation in her book, but apply this thought in relational terms and you’ll see what I mean: “What ripens passion is […]

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September 21, 2017

He Ate My Chocolate

Gary Thomas — 

In premarital counseling, I tell couples, “Your ability to continue cherishing each other, treasuring each other and feeling close to each other will be directly tied to your ability to handle conflict in a way that brings you together instead of tearing you apart.” It doesn’t matter how strong your infatuation is, if you can’t […]

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September 7, 2017

For Worse

Gary Thomas — 

A woman from a war-torn country told an American, “The difference between Americans and the rest of the world is that you expect everything to go fine and are surprised when something bad happens. The rest of the world expects life to be dreary and is surprised when something good happens.” I don’t know about […]

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My son is getting two masters’ degrees at Harvard. Lisa says I shouldn’t tell people that because it sounds like I’m bragging but it’s relevant to the point I’m about to make, so please forgive me. Graham was visiting during a vacation and I noticed he was reading a pretty lengthy history book that didn’t […]

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August 24, 2017

Good in Bed

Gary Thomas — 

Thus I have become in his eyes like one bringing contentment.  Song of Songs 8:10 “Don’t let this lawyerly facade fool you,” Sandra Bullock warned Hugh Grant in the movie Two Weeks’ Notice. “I’m actually really good in bed.” I was eating an airline dinner, flying somewhere over the Midwest, when I put on the […]

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A lay counselor who has worked with hundreds of premarital couples told me that he particularly looks forward to the session when he lays out what he calls the “tough love truths” to the future bride (why he picks the bride for this, I’m not sure). During this session, David tells the woman that sometime […]

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