Archives For communication

November 1, 2016

River People

Gary Thomas — 

You can divide the world into two different kinds of people: “river people” and “lake people.” You will be most fulfilled, and your marriage will be happiest, when you learn to become one of the river people. One of the things I love about marriage is that it helps us become the very kind of […]

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October 25, 2016

Marriage in a Bikini

Gary Thomas — 

Lisa and I love watching the Olympics, and this summer there were several sports in which we caught just about every event. One of them was beach volleyball. During a crucial game, one of the U.S. women’s teams had a rough go. A seasoned veteran wasn’t having her best day, and the opposing team kept […]

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What if one of the things we need is something we don’t want? One of the things I love about marriage is that it can lead us to places where we will be all but forced to rely on God like we never have before. My friend Rett gulped deeply when the doctor told him […]

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October 11, 2016

Getting Better all the Time

Gary Thomas — 

Lisa and I returned home from our honeymoon and moved into a trailer in a trailer park, in the middle of nowhere. It was rent free, offered by a family friend and we had almost no money. Lisa didn’t complain. When we moved to go to seminary, I found a room for rent in the […]

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This blog spends plenty of time helping spouses deal with disappointment and difficult marriages. In this post, however, I want to encourage couples who are happy in their relationship and delighted with each other by providing a “trick” to further increase that love and happiness. Happy couples get far too little attention in blogs and […]

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How many times have you done what you genuinely believed was best for your kids or spouse—your entire motivation was their well-being—and they responded with, “Why do you hate me?” It’s excruciating to exhibit love and have the person you love respond with charges of hate. You do something for your spouse, or say something […]

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  Wives, there’s something you need to know about your husbands that many women don’t know. Your husbands aren’t likely to tell you about it, because they fear it might sound self-serving or perhaps that it might terrify you. So let me be your husband’s advocate and tell you something that you need to know […]

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September 9, 2016

What Your Spouse Needs Most

Gary Thomas — 

Your spouse may not realize what he or she needs most, but if you want a sacred marriage, you have to focus on what he or she will profit from the most. Jesus didn’t always give people what they wanted or asked for. He gave them what they needed. If we want to love like […]

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August 10, 2016

How Porn Creates Angry Men

Gary Thomas — 

Plenty of research has come out about porn’s effects on men—erectile dysfunction, making your brain less attracted to your wife, distorting a man’s view of women overall, etc.  One I haven’t seen listed, though, is anger. Men who regularly give in to porn often have a lot of anger toward their wives. I’m not a […]

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Jason (not his real name) is one of the over fifty-percent of men who struggle mightily with pornography. It was causing him to miss out on life and regularly be angry with his wife (an often-ignored “secret” is that porn is cultivating an entire generation of angry husbands). One time, after an hours-long binge in […]

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