Archives For communication

May 6, 2015

Despair or Depend

Gary Thomas — 

  “I’m done with this marriage, Gary. It has exhausted me, and I don’t have what it takes to make it work.” Though they didn’t realize it, Alice and her husband Ian were on the precipice of a really good place, perhaps even a divinely ordered one. Sometimes, God has to take us to the […]

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When we talk about marital killers, the default mode is to discuss lust and affairs, substance abuse, physical violence, busyness, poor priorities, and financial stress. Fair enough. But there’s another killer of marital happiness that gets far too little press. I want to put a spotlight on it in today’s post. Negative thinking can be […]

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“Why is it always on us?” The leader of the wives’ study group looked at Lisa and me, explaining that after reading numerous books on marriage together, it always seemed to come down to the wives being the ones to set the relationship right. All of these women had read many books on marriage. At […]

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Before you read any further, think of the three best artists of all time: any country, any century, any medium. Got them in mind? I’ll bet ninety percent of you thought of Michelangelo. It might surprise you that Michelangelo thought of himself in rather limited terms. There remains only one truly famous Michelangelo painting (the […]

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I’m fully aware that my books may not seem as practical as other marriage books, or that that this blog doesn’t always dish out the very helpful “how-to” tips that so many other blogs focus on. It makes me a bit insecure at times; I could sound lost in the clouds to many people, like […]

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February 17, 2015

The Watch Dog Fights

Gary Thomas — 

“The watch dog fights while the wild dog runs away.” When danger confronts a wild dog, the wild dog runs away. It’s not tied to the home because in its heart, it doesn’t have one; it’s tied solely to its own self-interests. When danger confronts a watch dog, the watch dog doubles down, as if […]

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February 12, 2015

50 Problems with Grey

Gary Thomas — 

A Husband’s Random Thoughts on Fifty Shades of Grey I’m not into creating lists of “do’s” and “don’ts” that aren’t in Scripture. If anything, the Bible is relatively silent about such lists within marriage. It’s not my intent to disparage any appropriate act that a husband and wife enjoy in their private moments. Yet every […]

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While reading a wonderful book on marriage, I came across some spectacular advice that would be very harmful in one of the marriages I’ve worked with: “I learned that the most romantic gesture I can offer Christi is simply asking about her day, how she’s feeling, and what’s going on in her heart and mind.” […]

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If you jump in water, you’re going to get wet. If you watch The Bachelor or The Bachelorette, you’re going to hear someone say, “I just need to explore my feelings for him/her…” No, you don’t. Exploring your feelings is sort of like checking out the tide—it changes throughout the day, and what it is […]

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What if God makes “art” out of our moments of brokenness, sin, mistakes, and even marital disasters? Joe White is president of Kanakuk Kamps and founder of Kids Across America. He uses a word picture that I’ve found rather moving. He begins by saying that none of God’s “paintings” are on canvas. “They’re all made […]

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