We’ve all heard the calls to “unite” and “heal” following one of the most contentious presidential elections in modern history. I’m not calling marching, protesting, and posting on Facebook inappropriate, but it hasn’t been all that effective in bringing us “together,” has it? How about we try something different; what if we decide to make […]
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I’ve found men are most motivated to change during two times in a romantic relationship: Prior to the wedding (to get the woman to agree to marry them) and When a wife files for divorce. Those are the easiest times to get a man to reconsider and reform long-standing bad habits. If you’re single, you […]
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“My dove, my perfect one, is the only one.” Song of Songs 6:9 Marriage becomes particularly special when this verse describes how we view our spouse. Just this morning as I was in my study, I heard my wife gradually waking up. My heart went out to her. I hadn’t seen her yet, but just […]
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You can divide the world into two different kinds of people: “river people” and “lake people.” You will be most fulfilled, and your marriage will be happiest, when you learn to become one of the river people. One of the things I love about marriage is that it helps us become the very kind of […]
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This blog spends plenty of time helping spouses deal with disappointment and difficult marriages. In this post, however, I want to encourage couples who are happy in their relationship and delighted with each other by providing a “trick” to further increase that love and happiness. Happy couples get far too little attention in blogs and […]
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How many times have you done what you genuinely believed was best for your kids or spouse—your entire motivation was their well-being—and they responded with, “Why do you hate me?” It’s excruciating to exhibit love and have the person you love respond with charges of hate. You do something for your spouse, or say something […]
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Your spouse may not realize what he or she needs most, but if you want a sacred marriage, you have to focus on what he or she will profit from the most. Jesus didn’t always give people what they wanted or asked for. He gave them what they needed. If we want to love like […]
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After a Sacred Search conference in which I had laid out essential character traits to look for in a future spouse, a group of six men asked a question. Five of them were convinced by what I had said; one wasn’t, and he’s the one who asked the question in the form of several statements: […]
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Jason (not his real name) is one of the over fifty-percent of men who struggle mightily with pornography. It was causing him to miss out on life and regularly be angry with his wife (an often-ignored “secret” is that porn is cultivating an entire generation of angry husbands). One time, after an hours-long binge in […]
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One of the most common questions I get about my book for singles, The Sacred Search, which gives a lot of advice about what to look for and what to avoid when choosing someone to marry, is “What if you can’t find a person like the one you describe?” Singles who ask this question, and […]
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