Let me begin this post by sharing a common dilemma of life. How we resolve this dilemma will either serve or assault family intimacy. This account comes from a book that I highly recommend (Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown) A woman named Cynthia once told me a story about the […]
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Melissa had dated Jason for five years. “He’s a pretty good guy,” Melissa said. “He has most of the qualities you talked about tonight.” There’s usually a “but” when someone starts out like that, and here it was: “I was concerned about his relationship with his mom and family—she always came first. I’m not sure […]
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“I’m done with this marriage, Gary. It has exhausted me, and I don’t have what it takes to make it work.” Though they didn’t realize it, Alice and her husband Ian were on the precipice of a really good place, perhaps even a divinely ordered one. Sometimes, God has to take us to the […]
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To celebrate each other regularly during a lifelong love, you have to get creative with a lot of presents. If I get my wife just two things for Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, her birthday, our anniversary, and Christmas, that’s ten distinct presents a year, which means over the course of 30 years I’ve had to […]
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Family makes pain personal. Very personal. The pain might be erupting from your marriage; it might be related to the welfare (spiritual or physical) of a child. If it’s family the pain you feel focuses on you like a doctor using a laser beam during eye surgery. You want it gone. But, that pain can […]
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When we talk about marital killers, the default mode is to discuss lust and affairs, substance abuse, physical violence, busyness, poor priorities, and financial stress. Fair enough. But there’s another killer of marital happiness that gets far too little press. I want to put a spotlight on it in today’s post. Negative thinking can be […]
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The most damaging instance of “identity theft” is when hate masquerades as love. I see it all the time, particularly in dating relationships. A young man “falls in love” with a woman, woos her until he has monopolized her social calendar and then weeks or months later, drops her. Once she has abandoned everything for […]
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“Why is it always on us?” The leader of the wives’ study group looked at Lisa and me, explaining that after reading numerous books on marriage together, it always seemed to come down to the wives being the ones to set the relationship right. All of these women had read many books on marriage. At […]
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A simple spiritual practice can revolutionize who you become in your marriage and parenting. A short, half-an-hour a day exercise will help usher God’s presence into your life and relationships in a very practical way. This spiritual practice sprang from a powerful (but not perfect) movement of God that swept the world in the early […]
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One of my close friends, Dr. Mike Dittman, recently challenged me with a profound statement: “Gary,” he said, “God doesn’t care about shells; He cares about the people in the shells.” Mike was referring to churches, but let’s apply this to marriage. Keep in mind, Mike is ardently pro-local church. His ministry is singularly focused […]
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