Archives For building intimacy

What if one of the things we need is something we don’t want? One of the things I love about marriage is that it can lead us to places where we will be all but forced to rely on God like we never have before. My friend Rett gulped deeply when the doctor told him […]

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October 11, 2016

Getting Better all the Time

Gary Thomas — 

Lisa and I returned home from our honeymoon and moved into a trailer in a trailer park, in the middle of nowhere. It was rent free, offered by a family friend and we had almost no money. Lisa didn’t complain. When we moved to go to seminary, I found a room for rent in the […]

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This blog spends plenty of time helping spouses deal with disappointment and difficult marriages. In this post, however, I want to encourage couples who are happy in their relationship and delighted with each other by providing a “trick” to further increase that love and happiness. Happy couples get far too little attention in blogs and […]

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How many times have you done what you genuinely believed was best for your kids or spouse—your entire motivation was their well-being—and they responded with, “Why do you hate me?” It’s excruciating to exhibit love and have the person you love respond with charges of hate. You do something for your spouse, or say something […]

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August 31, 2016

Celebrating “Okay” Sex

Gary Thomas — 

  What if “okay sex” is okay? Where do we get our expectations that every act of marital sex is supposed to be a candidate for the highlight reel of marital ecstasy? In our ever present desire to “one up” the world, Christians are fond of exaggerating. That’s in part what led me to write […]

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August 10, 2016

How Porn Creates Angry Men

Gary Thomas — 

Plenty of research has come out about porn’s effects on men—erectile dysfunction, making your brain less attracted to your wife, distorting a man’s view of women overall, etc.  One I haven’t seen listed, though, is anger. Men who regularly give in to porn often have a lot of anger toward their wives. I’m not a […]

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I (Patrick) have a bit of a reputation for running out of gas, perhaps because I once read an article that said gas pumps have more germs than a toilet seat. I don’t know how many germs that is, but it’s enough for me not to want to touch either one too often. Or maybe […]

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One of the most common questions I get about my book for singles, The Sacred Search, which gives a lot of advice about what to look for and what to avoid when choosing someone to marry, is “What if you can’t find a person like the one you describe?” Singles who ask this question, and […]

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Throughout the nine months of our engagement, Lisa and I made many plans, as any engaged couple does. We talked about missions, family, serving God—you name it. It was an intense time, and we often prayed, “Lord, wherever you want to take us, however you want to use us, we’re all yours.” Of course, we […]

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My friend Dr. Mike Dittman offers a profoundly refreshing new approach to “counseling.” This is so applicable to friendship, marriage, and parenting: “People have often asked me to help them figure something out or fix something in their lives. They want answers to their questions and affirmation in their struggles, but not to learn how […]

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