Archives For building intimacy

One thought from Angela Duckworth’s book Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance struck me as being particularly relevant for marriage. While Grit is mostly about work and vocation, apply the following thought in relational terms and you’ll see what I mean: “What ripens passion is the conviction that your work matters. For most people, […]

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January 23, 2019

No Spouse is Everything

Gary Thomas — 

Don’t you think it would be cruel to ask your spouse to hold down five jobs? Let’s say your wife is a university professor, but you expect her to also serve as a detective in the police department, an investment advisor at a local bank, a case worker for child protective services, and sell new […]

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The conversation took place almost a decade ago, but I can still remember it. “If either of you ever have any doubts,” this man told me and my best friend, “you need to know you’ve got two really good boys.” The man speaking to us was our sons’ high school principal. He’s the kind of […]

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  I’ve been asked several times, “Gary, what do you do when Sacred Marriage doesn’t work?” At first, I was confused by the question. What did they mean by “work?” When pressed, they eventually came around to mention that their spouse hadn’t changed. They bought a book that purports to teach us how God can […]

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December 12, 2018

Love Love

Gary Thomas — 

Last week, we talked about the need to hate hate. In this two-part series, we’re looking at the blessing of loving love.   No one has more joy than the person who has learned to love love. We’re not talking about loving someone merely as a duty but loving because God has made it the […]

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November 14, 2018

God Made Us Needy

Gary Thomas — 

A blockbuster quote from a blockbuster book (Unwanted) by Jay Stringer unmasks what I have seen but been unable to describe in marriage: “Few of my male clients recognize any needs they have except for sex. This puts a tremendous strain on their partners to be sexual in order to experience intimacy. The pressure men […]

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November 7, 2018

Hungry Again

Gary Thomas — 

This is the third in a series of posts excerpted from my new book, Preparing Your Heart for Marriage, a devotional for engaged couples. The second half of the book goes through every phrase of the traditional marriage vows so that when couples exchange their vows on their wedding day, they’ll have thought through, prayed […]

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October 25, 2018

Fixed Focus

Gary Thomas — 

Looking for a great gift to give to an engaged couple that will help them get spiritually prepared for marriage? Are you half of an engaged couple and want to enter marriage prayerfully and thoughtfully? My newest book, Preparing Your Heart for Marriage: Devotions for Engaged Couples is available for pre-order now (it releases November […]

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The word “triangulation” should haunt every parent actively raising children, and it should warn all of us to not allow our marriages to grow distant during the child-rearing years (ever, really, but especially while we’re raising children). In a harrowing but insightful chapter of Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals our Way to Healing, Seattle counselor […]

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This is the fifth post in an ongoing series featuring the message of Loving Him Well: Practical Advice on Influencing Your Husband. Since the book is written for wives, the excerpt will focus on wives, but it’s just as applicable for men. The chapter in the book contains much more information, but this blog post […]

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