Archives For building intimacy

On Valentine’s Day, perhaps millions of men will get to see their wives wearing something they’ve never worn before and the husbands will be thrilled. Not too many men can pull off the same effect. I’ve never seen anything marketed to men in this regard that doesn’t seem cheesy and that doesn’t make me want […]

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With good intentions, we often warn single Christians about the relational damage associated with premarital sex. In a noble desire to urge single believers to follow God’s design of abstinence before marriage, we can unwittingly sabotage God’s design after marriage if we’re not just as pastoral claiming the victory of God over confessed sin as […]

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The point of walking away from toxic people is to walk toward reliable people, hopefully those whom God has supernaturally appointed to be touched in a special and powerful way, and who will be faithful to, in turn, reach others. It can sound arrogant to think that our time is so important or that we […]

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August 23, 2019

6 Ways to Grow Back Together

Gary Thomas — 

Emily and William were deeply in love fifteen years and three children ago, but time and responsibility have taken their toll. “In the end, we’re different people who want different things. I’m just not sure we can make it work anymore,” Emily said, and William nodded in agreement. The cynical side of me wanted to […]

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It’s been exactly a year since Lisa went into surgery to have her tumor removed. That morning, she told me she wanted two things. First, she wanted me holding her hand and praying for her as she was taken away, and second, she wanted to wake up from sedation without the breathing tube still in […]

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July 11, 2019

Your Wife’s Privacy

Gary Thomas — 

A friend of mine is a medical doctor who has held the beating heart of a living person in his hands. That blows me away. I can’t even imagine that kind of responsibility. But here’s the thing: every husband has his wife’s “spiritual heart” beating in his hands every day. Our wives make themselves just […]

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[This is an excerpt adapted from my book Loving Him Well: Practical Advice on Influencing Your Husband. Accordingly, it’s focused on wives, but most husbands could figure out the opposite application. Let me also state that this chapter was written for women in satisfying or perhaps disappointing but not abusive relationships.] No woman gets to […]

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One of the kindest words God has ever spoken to me is the word “no.” One of God’s most effective tools to preserve my freedom and keep me out of spiritual slavery is when God says, “Don’t.” Spoken by a supremely loving, all-wise, heavenly father who wants me to enjoy the abundant life, “no” and […]

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A pastor wrote to me asking for help with a church member who is well read and very cerebral, but who needs a little help shaping his heart and soul. He asked me for some books he could recommend, so I put together the following list in no particular order. It’s a mix of classics […]

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June 19, 2019

Never Surrender

Gary Thomas — 

A divorce lawyer recently posted an article arguing that the vow “till death do us part” is passé, unrealistic, and needs to be discarded. There’s no shame, he said, in knowing that it’s unlikely and “even rare” for marriages to last for a lifetime, so let’s stop with the pretense. He admitted children face some […]

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