Archives For building intimacy

February 20, 2019

Your Day’s Not Done Until…

Gary Thomas — 

The way Lisa treats me might make some young women nauseous, because she serves me like we’re living in a 1950s sitcom. Just one example: because she cares so much about health and because she knows my taste buds on their own might lead me in a very different direction, Lisa tries to prepare every […]

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February 12, 2019

Cherishing Sex is the Best Sex

Gary Thomas — 

One of the most delightful discoveries on my journey to cherish Lisa was finding out the difference cherishing makes with sexual intimacy. A cherishing mindset helps you enjoy the richest aspects of sexual intimacy while protecting you from the worst tendencies of sexual desire and pleasure. Because sex can be such a powerful experience, it’s […]

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February 6, 2019

Ready or Knot?

Gary Thomas — 

As a pastor, Scott Kedersha has worked with more than 5,000 premarital couples to prepare them for their new life together. His book Ready or Knot? offers practical and Christ-centered guidance for engaged couples as they get ready for their special day. Scott asks some tough (but vital questions) and gives some great advice for premarital […]

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One thought from Angela Duckworth’s book Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance struck me as being particularly relevant for marriage. While Grit is mostly about work and vocation, apply the following thought in relational terms and you’ll see what I mean: “What ripens passion is the conviction that your work matters. For most people, […]

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January 23, 2019

No Spouse is Everything

Gary Thomas — 

Don’t you think it would be cruel to ask your spouse to hold down five jobs? Let’s say your wife is a university professor, but you expect her to also serve as a detective in the police department, an investment advisor at a local bank, a case worker for child protective services, and sell new […]

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The conversation took place almost a decade ago, but I can still remember it. “If either of you ever have any doubts,” this man told me and my best friend, “you need to know you’ve got two really good boys.” The man speaking to us was our sons’ high school principal. He’s the kind of […]

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  I’ve been asked several times, “Gary, what do you do when Sacred Marriage doesn’t work?” At first, I was confused by the question. What did they mean by “work?” When pressed, they eventually came around to mention that their spouse hadn’t changed. They bought a book that purports to teach us how God can […]

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December 12, 2018

Love Love

Gary Thomas — 

Last week, we talked about the need to hate hate. In this two-part series, we’re looking at the blessing of loving love.   No one has more joy than the person who has learned to love love. We’re not talking about loving someone merely as a duty but loving because God has made it the […]

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November 14, 2018

God Made Us Needy

Gary Thomas — 

A blockbuster quote from a blockbuster book (Unwanted) by Jay Stringer unmasks what I have seen but been unable to describe in marriage: “Few of my male clients recognize any needs they have except for sex. This puts a tremendous strain on their partners to be sexual in order to experience intimacy. The pressure men […]

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November 7, 2018

Hungry Again

Gary Thomas — 

This is the third in a series of posts excerpted from my new book, Preparing Your Heart for Marriage, a devotional for engaged couples. The second half of the book goes through every phrase of the traditional marriage vows so that when couples exchange their vows on their wedding day, they’ll have thought through, prayed […]

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