Archives For building intimacy

Britney is in her early thirties and has mostly married friends. As a single, Britney told me she sees marriage from the perspective of what you gain, but almost all her married friends see marriage from the perspective of what they have lost. They seem frustrated with what their marriage isn’t, while Britney sees so […]

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When Kevin Miller asked his future wife Karen to marry him, her response was a quick and enthusiastic yes. Karen would later admit that perhaps she could have given a little more thought to such a monumental life decision: “When Kevin popped the question no one asked us a bigger question: ‘Why do you want […]

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What if one of the things we need is something we don’t want? One of the things I love about marriage is that it can lead us to places where we will be all but forced to rely on God like we never have before. My friend Rett gulped deeply when the doctor told him […]

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On Valentine’s Day, perhaps millions of men will get to see their wives wearing something they’ve never worn before and the husbands will be thrilled. Not too many men can pull off the same effect. I’ve never seen anything marketed to men in this regard that doesn’t seem cheesy and that doesn’t make me want […]

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With good intentions, we often warn single Christians about the relational damage associated with premarital sex. In a noble desire to urge single believers to follow God’s design of abstinence before marriage, we can unwittingly sabotage God’s design after marriage if we’re not just as pastoral claiming the victory of God over confessed sin as […]

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The point of walking away from toxic people is to walk toward reliable people, hopefully those whom God has supernaturally appointed to be touched in a special and powerful way, and who will be faithful to, in turn, reach others. It can sound arrogant to think that our time is so important or that we […]

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August 23, 2019

6 Ways to Grow Back Together

Gary Thomas — 

Emily and William were deeply in love fifteen years and three children ago, but time and responsibility have taken their toll. “In the end, we’re different people who want different things. I’m just not sure we can make it work anymore,” Emily said, and William nodded in agreement. The cynical side of me wanted to […]

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It’s been exactly a year since Lisa went into surgery to have her tumor removed. That morning, she told me she wanted two things. First, she wanted me holding her hand and praying for her as she was taken away, and second, she wanted to wake up from sedation without the breathing tube still in […]

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July 11, 2019

Your Wife’s Privacy

Gary Thomas — 

A friend of mine is a medical doctor who has held the beating heart of a living person in his hands. That blows me away. I can’t even imagine that kind of responsibility. But here’s the thing: every husband has his wife’s “spiritual heart” beating in his hands every day. Our wives make themselves just […]

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[This is an excerpt adapted from my book Loving Him Well: Practical Advice on Influencing Your Husband. Accordingly, it’s focused on wives, but most husbands could figure out the opposite application. Let me also state that this chapter was written for women in satisfying or perhaps disappointing but not abusive relationships.] No woman gets to […]

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