Danger Mouse (a producer and musician from LA) was in a bar shooting pool when he heard a song come over the speakers that mesmerized him. “I just sat and listened and listened and listened. It was so beautiful, with this long, big guitar part.”
Since music was Danger Mouse’s thing, he had to know what he was listening to. He asked the bartender, who smirked at him—was it really possible this guy had never heard of Pink Floyd’s “Shine On You Crazy Diamond?”
Danger Mouse had heard of Pink Floyd and had “seen the name on T-shirts.” But that led him to believe they were just a “loud rock n’ roll band.” He had never listened to them because “it wouldn’t have been cool for me in high school to listen to Pink Floyd. But this music just blew me away.”
Says Danger Mouse, “The next day I turned in my hip hop stuff and got every Pink Floyd CD I could.”
That led him to ask a bigger question: “How many other things have I been missing because it wouldn’t fit with me socially? That moment changed the way I saw the world. What food had I not eaten because it looked a certain way? What people had I not hung out with because they dressed differently?”
Years later, having played or produced top acts like The Black Keys and U2, Danger Mouse is reaping the rewards of stepping beyond his comfortable world of hip hop.
How many marriages are stuck in similar ruts: you go to the same restaurants, make love on the same day in the same place, spend weekends in the same routine, and your evenings are as informally regimented (by habit) as an NFL training camp is by a drill sergeant of a head coach?
Consider this post an invitation to do something different. What if you and your spouse said:
- Once every week, we’re going to change one thing—the time we eat dinner or where we eat dinner or what we eat for dinner.
- One weekend a month is going to be different from the norm. We’ll go to church on Saturday instead of Sunday, we’ll do something different Friday evening.
- One time a month we’ll make love in a different way.
- At least every couple months, we’re going to get together with a new couple or social group, just to see what it feels like.
- Once every couple years, we’re going to do a completely different type of vacation.
If you occasionally change your schedule and routine like this, you won’t be as likely to feel like the thing you need to change is your spouse. Instead, change your schedule, your patterns, see a new world, and watch your marriage blossom.
This is one of the reasons Lisa and I are so fond of international travel. It does something to your marriage when you’re in a completely foreign place you’ve never seen before and you’re dependent on each other. It took us decades before we could afford to do this, however, so we completely understand when your “foreign travel” has to be to Austin (if you live in Texas), Portland OR (if you live in the Northwest) or some other funky U.S. destination.
Print out this blog, take it on a date night, and dream. Then, if you remember, when you’ve done something new, log back onto this post and share what you did differently. We’d love to hear about it, and maybe even try out a few of your ideas. I’m hoping this can be an “evergreen” post where people keep coming back for the comments even more than the blog post.
Oh, yeah: if you’ve never heard Pink Floyd’s “Shine on You Crazy Diamond,” it’s a very long song (about twenty-five minutes, if you listen to all nine parts) that you could dance to. Or do other things to (if you’re looking for a something new idea)…