Archives For Relational

I like giving and receiving gifts. My wife Lisa doesn’t. In my young stupid pride, I used to double down on gift giving opportunities, find something really creative to give to Lisa, perhaps a bit too expensive for our current budget and Lisa would be touched and moved but feel guilty that I was (in […]

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October 23, 2019

She Married Him Anyway

Gary Thomas — 

A recent news article caught my eye: a would-be bride caught her soon-to-be husband sexually assaulting an inebriated bridesmaid the day before the wedding. What astonished me even more was the last sentence of the article: friends of the couple “confirmed” that the ceremony went on as planned… My heart rejoices at the healing and […]

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August 23, 2019

6 Ways to Grow Back Together

Gary Thomas — 

Emily and William were deeply in love fifteen years and three children ago, but time and responsibility have taken their toll. “In the end, we’re different people who want different things. I’m just not sure we can make it work anymore,” Emily said, and William nodded in agreement. The cynical side of me wanted to […]

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August 16, 2019

Supernatural Counsel

Gary Thomas — 

When a couple you love is going through a marital crisis, both spouses giving you two entirely different accounts of what is happening and begging you for your insight… When a child has prayed and prayed and God hasn’t seemed to answer that prayer and they ask you what to do… When your spouse needs […]

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It’s been exactly a year since Lisa went into surgery to have her tumor removed. That morning, she told me she wanted two things. First, she wanted me holding her hand and praying for her as she was taken away, and second, she wanted to wake up from sedation without the breathing tube still in […]

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To understand how difficult it is to be married to a certain kind of person, you need to know that the Bible was written in a desert. The Promised Land is described as a place of “milk and honey” but even the most generous of geographers would call it “arid.” Average temperatures run in the […]

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July 11, 2019

Your Wife’s Privacy

Gary Thomas — 

A friend of mine is a medical doctor who has held the beating heart of a living person in his hands. That blows me away. I can’t even imagine that kind of responsibility. But here’s the thing: every husband has his wife’s “spiritual heart” beating in his hands every day. Our wives make themselves just […]

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[This is an excerpt adapted from my book Loving Him Well: Practical Advice on Influencing Your Husband. Accordingly, it’s focused on wives, but most husbands could figure out the opposite application. Let me also state that this chapter was written for women in satisfying or perhaps disappointing but not abusive relationships.] No woman gets to […]

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One of the kindest words God has ever spoken to me is the word “no.” One of God’s most effective tools to preserve my freedom and keep me out of spiritual slavery is when God says, “Don’t.” Spoken by a supremely loving, all-wise, heavenly father who wants me to enjoy the abundant life, “no” and […]

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June 19, 2019

Never Surrender

Gary Thomas — 

A divorce lawyer recently posted an article arguing that the vow “till death do us part” is passé, unrealistic, and needs to be discarded. There’s no shame, he said, in knowing that it’s unlikely and “even rare” for marriages to last for a lifetime, so let’s stop with the pretense. He admitted children face some […]

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