Archives For Marriage

February 12, 2019

Cherishing Sex is the Best Sex

Gary Thomas — 

One of the most delightful discoveries on my journey to cherish Lisa was finding out the difference cherishing makes with sexual intimacy. A cherishing mindset helps you enjoy the richest aspects of sexual intimacy while protecting you from the worst tendencies of sexual desire and pleasure. Because sex can be such a powerful experience, it’s […]

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One thought from Angela Duckworth’s book Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance struck me as being particularly relevant for marriage. While Grit is mostly about work and vocation, apply the following thought in relational terms and you’ll see what I mean: “What ripens passion is the conviction that your work matters. For most people, […]

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January 23, 2019

No Spouse is Everything

Gary Thomas — 

Don’t you think it would be cruel to ask your spouse to hold down five jobs? Let’s say your wife is a university professor, but you expect her to also serve as a detective in the police department, an investment advisor at a local bank, a case worker for child protective services, and sell new […]

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A few years ago, Lisa and I took a military transport and landed in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. It felt unbearably hot, even for a couple traveling from Houston. Yet the Navy chaplain escorting us around said, “Congratulations—you wisely came here during the coolest time of the year.” Trips like this one overwhelm me with the […]

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  I’ve been asked several times, “Gary, what do you do when Sacred Marriage doesn’t work?” At first, I was confused by the question. What did they mean by “work?” When pressed, they eventually came around to mention that their spouse hadn’t changed. They bought a book that purports to teach us how God can […]

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November 14, 2018

God Made Us Needy

Gary Thomas — 

A blockbuster quote from a blockbuster book (Unwanted) by Jay Stringer unmasks what I have seen but been unable to describe in marriage: “Few of my male clients recognize any needs they have except for sex. This puts a tremendous strain on their partners to be sexual in order to experience intimacy. The pressure men […]

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October 31, 2018

Money, Money, Money

Gary Thomas — 

  This is the second in a series of posts excerpted from my new book, Preparing Your Heart for Marriage, a devotional for engaged couples. The second half of the book goes through every phrase of the traditional marriage vows so that when couples exchange their vows on their wedding day, they’ll have thought through, […]

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The word “triangulation” should haunt every parent actively raising children, and it should warn all of us to not allow our marriages to grow distant during the child-rearing years (ever, really, but especially while we’re raising children). In a harrowing but insightful chapter of Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals our Way to Healing, Seattle counselor […]

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Single women, take note: every married Christian woman I’ve ever met who married a non-believing man has said, emphatically, they would tell every other woman not to do it. They wouldn’t wish away the children they’ve had, but as a general rule, I’ve yet to find a woman who thinks it’s worth the risk going […]

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Some desires in marriage are never going to be fulfilled and need to be “crucified.” In fact, various studies have suggested that more than fifty percent of marital issues will never be resolved. You can fight against this all you want. You can resent it. You can say it’s not fair. But it won’t change […]

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