January 9, 2016

He Lies

Gary Thomas — 

He Lies Final

He lies to you, all the time.

Jesus called Satan “the Father of lies,” and if you want an abundant life and marriage, you have to discern those lies.

Satan takes normal marital doldrums and turns it into the story of your life. “It won’t get better, it can’t get better. Your only hope is to kill your marriage.” Jesus says Satan “steals, kills, and destroys,” John 10:10.  Whenever you hear “kill” as a solution, you know to whom you’re listening.

Satan offers you a pleasure that is half an inch removed from an addiction. “You need this,” he says. “You deserve this. Just this once. It’ll get you through the night.” Ten years later you wake up with a pounding spiritual hangover and realize that was a very long “night” indeed.

He tells you your spouse “never listens” to you because they ignored you once. He tells you your spouse is “always” selfish at the end of what may admittedly have been a selfish day. One of his favorite tricks is to take an act and paint the entire person and all of their history with that one act.

In his 19th century classic The Christian in Complete Armor, William Gurnall warns that when Satan is ineffective in getting us to sin, he works on getting us to fret. “It is easier to keep flies out of your pantry in the summer than to keep Satan’s servants from stealing your joy and infecting your peace.”

When you hear a lie and don’t confront it, it becomes your “truth,” even though it’s not true. Which means we have to be constant and expert lie detectors. Fight back, with vigor:He Lies

“My spouse had a bad day, but he’s not a bad spouse.”

“My wife can be a little self-absorbed, but remember how she spoiled me last week?”

“We’re not all that great when taking vacations together—but we do so well ministering together.”

“Maybe our sex life isn’t the best it’s ever been, but we still enjoy each other and we can work on that. Couples have faced much worse.”

What lies are you letting masquerade as truths in your marriage? Engage in spiritual warfare. Seek out those lies, expose them, and kill them before they kill your joy, if not your marriage.

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7 responses to He Lies

  1. I know this is an older blog but I just joined and this couldn’t mean more to me than it does right now. My husband left the home and our family we have built for 15 yrs. He used religion to say he was on a different path when in reality he was having an affair with someone at church. He came back after the holidays and confessed and said he heard God speaking to him to come take care of his family but his mistress would not leave him to be with his family she kept after him even after he told her he was reconciling. He was not strong enough to handle the guilt over the pain he caused and he is gone again and wanting a divorce. Why can’t he see how the Devil is at work through her? Please pray for us that God reaches him and shuts out the Devil. I love my husband for all his scars.

  2. I like. I have totally enjoyed your books. And I agree with this approach that most of the hurt we suffer in marriage is because we have believed a certain lie. Good reflection.

  3. I love, love, love this. For too many years, I have been listening to too many lies. Believing the worst about myself, my marriage, and my future. All of which gave me serious anxiety. It is only in taking that step to believe God’s truth that the anxiety has abated, because He came to give us peace. And we can trust Him. Completely. It is sometimes so hard in the middle of an intense situation to tell what is lie and what is truth. But I like what you said, if something is telling us to kill or steal or destroy, it’s probably a lie… Love that clarity. Thank you!

  4. Hi Again Gary, I went over into your web page to look for some of my favorite blogs. I was going to send them to a friend, I was unable to find them. Have you deleted some of them? One of them was “Because We’re Married”, the other one was “Fiasco”. There was a few more but I was going to start her with those.

  5. Really helpful! Thanks!

  6. Good morning Gary, this blog is great. The reason I say that is because all to often I listen to Satans lies. Thank you so much for exposing those little whispers in our ears, head and heart. I am right now going through this same thing. This blog could not have come at a better time. Just yesterday while sitting with my Pastor/Counselor I was telling him the lies Satan has been telling me. His response was pretty much what you just said here.
    I guess the question is “Why do I Listen”? After 40 years of marriage a lot has happened and I focus on the negative. But if I look past that there is something better which is Jesus Christ. He loves me, longs to spend time with me, listens to the most intimate parts of my heart”. That is where my focus needs to be.
    Again thank you and have a wonderful week. I will be buying ear plugs “Translation” reading my bible, to guard myself from those lies.

  7. Thank You, Jesus, for Gary and all others who proclaim the Truth of Your Word and expose the enemy! Praise Your holy Name oh LORD!