He lies to you, all the time.
Jesus called Satan “the Father of lies,” and if you want an abundant life and marriage, you have to discern those lies.
Satan takes normal marital doldrums and turns it into the story of your life. “It won’t get better, it can’t get better. Your only hope is to kill your marriage.” Jesus says Satan “steals, kills, and destroys,” John 10:10. Whenever you hear “kill” as a solution, you know to whom you’re listening.
Satan offers you a pleasure that is half an inch removed from an addiction. “You need this,” he says. “You deserve this. Just this once. It’ll get you through the night.” Ten years later you wake up with a pounding spiritual hangover and realize that was a very long “night” indeed.
He tells you your spouse “never listens” to you because they ignored you once. He tells you your spouse is “always” selfish at the end of what may admittedly have been a selfish day. One of his favorite tricks is to take an act and paint the entire person and all of their history with that one act.
In his 19th century classic The Christian in Complete Armor, William Gurnall warns that when Satan is ineffective in getting us to sin, he works on getting us to fret. “It is easier to keep flies out of your pantry in the summer than to keep Satan’s servants from stealing your joy and infecting your peace.”
“My spouse had a bad day, but he’s not a bad spouse.”
“My wife can be a little self-absorbed, but remember how she spoiled me last week?”
“We’re not all that great when taking vacations together—but we do so well ministering together.”
“Maybe our sex life isn’t the best it’s ever been, but we still enjoy each other and we can work on that. Couples have faced much worse.”
What lies are you letting masquerade as truths in your marriage? Engage in spiritual warfare. Seek out those lies, expose them, and kill them before they kill your joy, if not your marriage.