January 5, 2015

God Didn’t (and Won’t) Tell You to Marry Your Spouse

Gary Thomas — 

God Didn't Tell You Who to Marry

“It’s been miserable, Gary,” the woman confessed. “We’ve only been married for three years but it has been the worst three years of my life. My husband has just been awful. And what frustrates me so much is that God confirmed that I was supposed to marry him, ten times over.”

You could have served the bitterness in her voice to a thousand people.

In another conversation, another woman, married not just years, but decades, to a man who proved to be pathological, slipped in the same sigh and words, “But God told me to marry him.”

To these and many others who said, “God told me to marry him/her,” I want to cry out, “No, He didn’t.”

How can I say that?

My response is simple: How can you say the opposite? There is nothing in Scripture that suggests there is just one person we’re ‘supposed’ to marry. Proverbs 31 urges young men to be guided by a woman’s faith and character in making their choice—there is no mention of second guessing some divine destiny. In 1 Corinthians 7, the apostle Paul tells women (widows, in particular) to seriously consider singleness, but assures them the choice of whether to get married is up to them, and then specifically says women can marry “whomever they wish” as long as their potential husband is ‘in the Lord.’ (v. 39) If the Bible explicitly says, ‘it’s your call whether or not to get married’ (a sentiment Jesus echoes when he says some “choose” to become eunuchs—celibate—in Matthew 19:12, with emphasis on the word “choose”) and it’s entirely your choice as to who to marry, why should your subjective feelings and reasoning override living by the truth of Scripture?

There is, quite frankly, nothing in Scripture that ever tells us it is our sworn duty to marry one particular person. Whether we marry, and who we marry, are spoken of in Scripture as part of God’s “permissive will,” something He allows us to choose.

Is it possible God has told a couple to get married? Look, I’m not going to put God in a box. I can’t say “He can do this but He can never do that” (and thus I’m admitting the title of this blogpost is a bit provocative to make a point). All I can say is that the clearest scriptural teaching makes marriage our choice—both as to whether we get married and to whom we marry. Presuming that some mystical leaning you’ve received overrides a clear biblical teaching is always risky and often foolish (regardless of how many times God seems to subjectively “confirm” this call; after all, God objectively said something very different in Scripture).

Why does this matter?

To move forward, we have to own up to our choices—why we made them and how to be responsible in the face of them. To a woman who was abused by her dad and then married an abusive husband, I’d say, with a pastoral heart, “You were deeply sinned against and hurt. The kind of man you felt ‘comfortable’ with, because of your upbringing, wasn’t good for you, so you chose a man who continued your father’s practices. Psychologically, that’s perfectly explainable, but let’s discuss how the grace of Christ can redeem your situation, help you evaluate what the right thing to do now is, and help you make better choices in the future.” I would never tell a woman who had been abused by her dad that God’s “perfect will” was for her to also marry a violent husband. There is nothing about the biblical doctrine of God’s providence that demands that application, unless you slip all the way over to determinism.

Far healthier, spiritually, than to sit in resentment against God, is to say to yourself, “I chose this man/woman. It might or might not help to explore why. But since I made the choice of my own free will, I bear certain responsibilities for the commitment I have made.” Then God becomes your ally, not your enemy, in helping you face the future. Instead of, “God, why did you lead me into this mess,” you’ll pray, “God, help lead me out of the mess I’ve made.”

That’s a huge difference, spiritually speaking.

On another level, the virtues of kindness, faithfulness and goodness demand that if I convinced someone to marry me, or agreed to marry someone, knowing it was a lifetime commitment, knowing it would be beyond complicated to dissolve the union, I need to step up to face the lifetime consequences. That means not just staying married but staying engaged in the marriage, working to make it the best for this person that I can.

If you’re a single person reading this, I implore you to avoid trying to “second guess” God’s will as to who you “should” marry and instead look for the character qualities in a spouse the Bible exalts. What I’m saying may not sound very romantic, but please realize that the consequences to living by a sentimental romanticism are real—and in the case of marriage, can be long-lasting. I just received an email last week, saying, “Sadly, I was one of those people who believed with all my heart that God has only one person for me to marry. I also believed that God would do the choosing.  I believed it was God’s will for me to marry my husband. This has had disastrous consequences. Based on all the things you outlined in The Sacred Search, my husband and I should not have gotten married.”

Here’s what I’m going to insist on: Just because you think God wants you to marry one particular person, doesn’t mean He does. And just because God doesn’t “stop” you from marrying someone doesn’t mean He agrees with you that it’s a wise decision (he didn’t “stop” a lot of people from robbing banks who are even now serving time in prison). He will never forsake you. He will be with you every second of that marriage, giving you the grace of Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit to live by your decision, but He has stated in His word that it is your decision, so it is risky to assume otherwise.

Rise up to your regal calling in Christ and own your decision. Of course, seek God’s blessing, but just as much, seek His wisdom in Scripture. While the Bible is silent on how you can definitively know who you’re “supposed” to marry, it does talk about the process of making wise decisions—applying biblical principles, seeking wise counsel, being deliberate and wise in your choice, considering the future, and basing your decision on the right priorities.

As the sad e-mailer suggests, I hit this hard in my book The Sacred Search and I’d suggest if this is still not clear to you, that you check out that resource.  http://www.garythomas.com/books/sacred-search/

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394 responses to God Didn’t (and Won’t) Tell You to Marry Your Spouse

  1. I was very hurt when i was told to break up with my fiance because God wants me to marrry another person. I only cried my eyes out because i felt i have chosen smeone else and i was only praying to God telling him to allow me to marry my fiance instead and i jx cant break up cos both of us will hurt, but thnx a lot for opening my eye to a fact that i can choose anyone considering the fact that a believer…God bless you

  2. Hi, my own experience does not agree with what you wrote. About year after I was saved, while praying, the Lord told me that I was called to be a wife. He showed me that I wanted the white picket fence but experiences had left me a bit scared. Next two mornings while there was radio program with testiminies of women whose marriages were broken, some their husbands left them, but through prayer the Lord healed their marriages. I knew woth Him my marriage had hope. A year later, a visiting preacher spoke over me not to keep my eyes on the big picture the Lord showed me, not to listen to what I see, hear or feel but only listen to what the Lord says. A year later September 2008 I had two dreams in one night where I was a cetrain man’s wife and in the second dream I could feel the Lord’s presence. I was hesitant to trust dreams but a month later after speaking with a friend about it and saying I didn’t know what to make of this guy, we worshiped together and I heard clearly ” You have forgotten your dreams” . Still was not sure, didn’t want to make a mistake, so was praying for the Lord to give me confirmations. January 2009 waking up He said to ” I have given you dreams and confirmations”. A few months later someone at church have me the verse in Habakkuk. ..though the vision tarry wait for it. That man, now my husband said the Lord put it on his heart to take care of me, that no matter what other females were shown as options for him by a close friend, he couldn’t forget me. Two months before marriage which was in 2014 while sitting in my husband’s living room, the visiting preacher turned to me and said something along the lines of “you know, the Holy Spirit speaks to people. You being here is the fulfillment of God’s vision.” I never told this preacher about my dreams, or the call or the scripture given me. In the time between 2008 and 2014 I was tested. I had to be willing to imagine my future husband with someone else and came to the conclusion most important is Jesus, that my life would go on with Jesus. This man could not be an Isaac in my life. Even while going through this very tough time of the enemy saying to me why would God choose you, and having to picture him with someone else, the Lord was so good, 2013 June sent someone to me to talk to me. In the subway going home during that time, someone came to sit in a seat near me, as he was getting off he turned to me and said “you can do it. Tough it out and pay the price”. The Lord is so good and this is my experience. Jeremiah 33:3 says call into me and I will tell thee great and mighty things thou knowest not. He does tell us things to come. He has for me about this and other situations. He is not a respecter of persons. With Jesus there is always hope.

  3. Gary I’ve been going through a problem for a month of my engagement. My fiancé says that God is telling her that we are not meant to be. I’ve been praying about this and I feel so strong in the fact that me and her are meant to be. Please help me Gary

  4. Hi Gary,

    I am feeling burdened by a “mystical” event. Would really appreciate your advice:

    See, I’m not normally the type of person who even remembers dreams let alone take the time to analyze them — and I do not tend to worship in churches that elevate things like speaking in tongues and other intense manifestations of charismatic gifts.

    THAT being said, there have been a few (handful or less) significant moments in my life where I firmly believe God has “communicated” with me via a dream — usually to notify me of something that would come to pass. (Normally they would immediately come to pass: the day of or the following day and it would be things I had no control over.)

    I also believe the Holy Spirit can inform one’s intuition, and that God does send “signs” and often these signs (while secondary to and not contradicting of His revealed will in Scripture) can help inform us to make the best choices… and that often we ignore them to our detriment.

    Anyways, not too long ago, I met a young man who embodied many of the strengths and qualities I am seeking in a potential spouse. He is not a Christian though, and at this very moment, I am content in my season of singleness.

    The last time we were in contact, it was Lent and I was fasting and waking up often in the middle of the night to pray and read Scripture. I felt a particular burden to devote much my Lenten fast and prayer for his salvation (not just for him, but for a few of our mutual friends as well.)

    One morning, after spending much of the prior night in prayer, I received a “vision” from God that seemed to indicate well–dare I say, that we were being wedded. (Or something like it at least!)

    I concluded perhaps that this may be a “sign” about the long term future.

    My worry is that once I am ready to date, I will always have him in the back of my mind as I meet people. Finding it to be the case already: asking myself, what if I’m pre-betrothed?!

    Please let me know your thoughts. 🙂

    GOD bless.

    • I am not Gary (and I see how difficult his job must be, with all these questions and situations) but I will tell you my opinion…

      didn’t you say ” I also believe the Holy Spirit can inform one’s intuition, and that God does send “signs” and often these signs (while secondary to and not contradicting of His revealed will in Scripture) can help inform us to make the best choices…”?
      Well, the WRITTEN WILL OF GOD in Scripture is that a believer is forbidden to marry an unbeliever. So any dream that envisions otherwise IS contradicting the written will of God in the Scriptures.

      More, I haven’t heard of visions about other people’s salvation. I might have several problems with this paradigma.

      so my advice to you is focus on the born again Christians who bare the Holy Spirit’s fruits (which are ESSENTIALLY DIFFERENT than qualities that you like in a potential spouse) and show interest in you. Step by step counsel, and evaluating the relationship will eventually show you the best decision about marrying or not a particular person you are in a relationship with.

  5. for god sakes, i’m willing to meet a friend who lives few blocks from me and we are living at the same street, however, we didn’t have any chances to meet, we each other wish to be friends with each other. i’m praying for GOD to assist us that with a chance, we could meet with some situation going on. and i hope things could go well. having one more friend is better than having one more enemy. I wish we could meet, for hanging out with fun at all. Thanks, our mighty God.

  6. Isn’t it wise to let God choose your exact spouse ? Otherwise, what if it is satan’s scheme to entice you with the wrong partner who starts to tear down your relationship with God ? A terrible result !

  7. Hi Ps Gary

    I think contradicting to your comment, I would think God will help us choose our spouse if we truly seek His will and have good relationship with Him. It is just like when Abraham asked his servant to find a wife for Isaac. Isn’t that God’s chosen wife because the servant asked and because God cares?

    The tricky part is how close your relationship with Holy Spirit that you will have the “discerning spirit” to hear exactly what He says when you asked. Wouldn’t you agree?


  8. Kadijah Johnson October 22, 2015 at 5:44 am

    Good morning,

    My name is Kadijah, I’m 22 years old and married. I read the article on why Christians and nonbelievers shouldn’t marry. Now I’m very concerned about the health,  well-being and future of my marriage.

    Before I got married I was not a Christian,  however,  I was under the impression that the man I wanted to marry was. I converted to Christianity and now we are married. There are some behaviors he is exhibiting as a “Christian”, that are contrary to the fruits of the spirit. I won’t name them but when I add everything up, something tells me he’s not a Christian. As we go along, his actions are confirming that.

    I was under the impression that he was a Christian when we got married.  But now that I’m in the marriage it doesn’t seem like that is true.  In fact,  I know he’s not a Christian at this point, but I didn’t find out he wasn’t until we got deeper into the marriage.

    I need guidance. I feel like I was blind to the whole issue up until now, like I’ve been deceived.  I don’t know what to do.

  9. Hello Garry,

    I strongly agree with you but I have a problem. I have some one I really love and we plan to marry each other but in the last period came telling me that my fiance is not the one God prepared for me. My fiance is a christian and we really love each other. what can you advise me about this prophecy

  10. tell me about hosea and gomer.

  11. VerySeriouslySpeaking October 13, 2015 at 6:29 pm

    And for many men and women out there that were very extremely blessed to have each other with a family, be very thankful that you have that gift of life which many of us Don’t have that at all since no one really cares about us single people since their life is so very much complete. And be very thankful for not having health problems that many of us do have, and if we were really meant to find love then it would’ve happened already since God has really punished us.

  12. Yes it is very true that God punishes many of us with singleness and Blesses so many others with the gift of life. Go figure.

  13. Just want to say that I really appreciate your realistic and Biblical approach- I needed to hear these words. Thank you.

  14. Fred,
    study the Bible and learn how God speaks to His children.

    Then, if you are a born again christian, talk to your church community and How the Holy Spirit directs etc.

    How do you know God does not do…..”….”? Cause I know what He does, and how He speaks and it is not like that.


  15. I’m not sure how frequently you respond to questions, but I have one 🙂

    I have been spending, in complete sincerity & honesty, every moment I have free from studying for school, or working on things that are ministry related- praying and digging into this exact topic. I have listened to quite a few of your “sacred search” videos, as well as other videos for singles on RightNowMedia.

    I just came into a season, where I feel like the only explanation for how I am feeling towards a certain someone, is that God is calling me to feel that way. We have always had chemistry, pretty intense chemistry. Something that I ignored almost 3 years ago because I knew it would do nothing at the time but lead to trouble.

    I have spent the last 3 years learning about myself, & seeking revelation about marriage. I have done this because I have always known that it is a true desire of mine to be married, but being a 21 year girl, and looking around at the oblivion, and the lies that corrupt and confuse my generation, I truly want wisdom, and I truly want my head to be on straight so that The Lord can get all the glory from my decision.

    That being said, I was placed in a situation, by complete accident, that allowed those feelings to awaken in me for this person once again. And since, I have been what I feel can only be described as “called,” to pray and journal and study for this person inparticular.

    He is saved, His calling is similar if not the same (but nobodies is really the same), My family approves, His family is amazing, I dont have blind spots- I see his flaws and I am willing to show grace- I see my flaws and I’m willing to work on them, I feel as if my head is on straight.

    I’ve always looked around at my options as a single girl, feeling different ways here and there, but it’s like this has completely shifted my thinking. All of a sudden it’s easy to focus on this one person. I find myself caring about His future, His dreams, I want to surpress my feelings until I feel they would be beneficial for him to know about, I have entirely too much honor for Him in my heart to do anything that would make him place me above The Lord, etc.

    I’ve done so much studying, but in my heart I don’t feel I can move without confirmation, but this article suggests in a way that I won’t receive it. That scares me, because from the heart flows life, and I am supposed to guard it. How can I take a step without knowing if it will please Him? Am I really unable to hear His voice on this? That’s a very lonely thing in my opinion. Wondering if you can elaborate?

    • I think you are simply in love with this person, and it has nothing to do with God calling you to feel that way.

      Yes, I think you can still hear God, even with these feeling in the mix – the question is to distinct them from His words and your heart being wiling to do WHATEVER He tells you. God can talk to His sheep, His children even in their confusion, their fuzziness, their pain, their infatuation etc….It is simply a problem of communication, between God and man, as it is also between 2 persons. And the same problems may appear in both cases: are you biased toward a certain answer? Do you have prejudices concerning the matter (are you objective)? Is your heart truly committed to do whatever God tells you, even if it means to kill your feelings or sacrifice your most precious thing/dream etc? do you hear what He says or what you imagine He says? There is a sender, a message and a receiver. Since the sender and the message are God’s, there is no problem there. Analyze the receiver, you, and be ready to truly communicate with Him.

      • Hi!

        I’m a 32 year old man I’ve been a christian since early 2008.Some mystical signs has been given to me a year ago. I don’t know the source is it god trying to tell me something or is the signs from the devil trying to bring confusion to my mind. I’ve tried asking god in my prayers but he has remained silent so far about the subject.

        It’s about a woman. About a year ago I worked at the same workplace as her. Sorry for my bad english, I’ve never worked with her just seeing her in the same building. Now I’m unemployed. That’s another story, in my contract it was agreed that I should work where I worked to the end of 2014.
        I remember when I saw her for the first time she looked very beautiful, happy and kind. I felt attracted to her. I saw her in the local newspaper it was an interview with her in the sports pages and it was about her soccer team. Then I knew her name. I find out that she is five years younger than me. Then I checked out her facebook page, somehow I found out that my little brother and the womans older sister was in the same class in high school. Anyway I wrote to her on facebook we work at the same work place and so on. When I wrote she looked like a nice woman she stopped writing back to me and many days later she wrote back and kind of said “I’m sure you’re a nice guy” but I have a boyfriend since long ago and live together with him so she said “please don’t write to me anymore”. I wrote “sorry” to her. About two or three months later, I couldn’t exactly remember she held the door for me without saying a word at the end of the workday. So probably she had forgiven me and didn’t hate me after I wrote sorry to her. This was around fall 2014.

        After she wrote that she had a boyfriend to me I was ready to let her go out of my mind and I didn’t see her so often at the workplace so no problem for me. Before I get in to the mystical signs. In the past sometimes I get thoughts in my mind the first thing in the morning that are not my own, it’s like comforting thoughts “I’m your shepherd” is one thought I had on one occasion. I’m left handed by the way I don’t know if that matters in this case.

        These signs is about anagrams. A biblical anagram in english I know about is this:”Jesus wept” and the anagram “Jews upset”.

        One morning in august in 2014 I got a thought in my mind the moment I woke up. It was a anagram of the street she lived in at the time. In english it said “Interpretate (the) talent here” and some mornings later this thought come to my mind “Talent a limited company” (all anagrams was in my own language). It is an anagram of the street I live in.
        Then about a week later or something I couldn’t remember exactly when it was, anyway one morning an anagram of her first name and sur name came in my mind, the anagram was in my own language. This is what the anagram is translated to english :”Michael true sion” and I started to look into what the words mean by themselves. I find out that her middle name is Johanna and she drove a car with number plate 316 and the numbers in her home adress was 66 A at the time.

        I looked at what the following names mean and this is what I found:

        Michael: Who is like God?

        Johanna: God is gracious.

        Sion= John= God is gracious. (Sion is the welsh form of John, I do not live in Wales btw).

        I wrote about this to her in the end of 2014 at facebook.

        John 3:16 is called little bible and the bible consists of 66 books. A= Anagrams?

        Michael true sion= Who is like god? True God is gracious.

        Johanna= God is gracious.

        And I also wrote “Interpretate (the) talent here” and “Talent a limited company”.

        She didn’t answer my message on facebook and I read in the local news paper she haved moved with her boyfriend from the apartment to a house not far away from where the apartment she moved out of.

        I haven’t seen her for about almost a year until a couple of days ago. It was when I was out and riding my bike, I was thinking of her and wondered once again what about her and why this anagrams? Less than a minute later I saw her ride her bike in the opposite direction towards her workplace. This is disturbing was it a coincidence. I’ve read online that God doesn’t do coincidences.

        What shall I believe? Why did god want me to write the anagrams to her? I don’t even know if she’s a christian I know nothing about that. I mean she has a boyfriend. It’s very confusing for my mind and I wonder what you think please let me know your thoughts on the subject. Is it god who are trying to say something or is it the devil who plays me like a toy? That’s the thoughts going through my mind. A part of me want to let this go but it would be nice to get some clarification on this subject. What do you think about this?

        • Anagrams are just that. There is no mystical sign for that !!!

          GOD DOES NOT SPEAK TO HIS PEOPLE IN ANAGRAMS! Or other letters and words as such as you describe.

          Please be kind and respectfu enough to stop harassing her, and respect her wishes to not talk to her and also respect her boyfriend.

          • I haven’t written to her in nine months and I’m not planning to write to her again. How can you be so sure god doesn’t speak to people in anagrams?

  16. I think what the body of Christ doesn’t understand about God is that he WILL NOT override our free will. It’s in our free will that we choose to follow Him, pay to Him, read His Word, and fall in love with Him. If it’s not done of our own free will them it can’t be genuine, pure. He gave all His creation including the angels this same freedom. Love isn’t or cannot be real if it’s forced or manipulated.Jesus will not ever violate our freedom to choose.

    • I think you don’t understand how free will and love work.

      Love is a choice, and a command. Like “love your enemies”. Your free will consists in obeying this command or not, like actually loving your enemies or not.

      If God says” Love this person as your spouse and marry him/her” it is my free will who actually obeys and loves, or not.

      We are commanded to love, because we are His children and He is love. That is not under the question of free will…..We are not free to choose whatever we want – we are free to obey God or not.

  17. I enjoyed reading the right up.
    But after actually considering on my own you see, I still believe there is that ONE person for everyone.

    Point 1- in the case of a spouse dyeing,and a lady or man remarries,they can compliment each other quiet alright But I understand that the initial people they were with ( according to Gods guidance), were their ordained spouse and the present ones their with,are people God provided to be with them after..

    2- in the case of Adam and Eve ,I believe strongly there is one person for everyone.Why ? Because God,would have simply created multiple women,and brought to Adam to choose….BUT he didn’t….instead in all Gods ability to create any amount of women,he brought Just ONE to Adam.

    3- in the case of Isaac and Rebecca, after the Servant prayed for the right ” WOMAN” for him,God brought ONE woman,there might have been other women who might have done TO AN EXTENT what Rebecca did,but ONE WOMAN,REBECCA did more according to the servants prayer,and that identified her as the God choice for Isaac. This is my understanding….. Blessings.. 🙂

    • I don’t understand point 1.

      So God ordains one person, and after he/she dies, God allows a “second best” for the spouse to remarry?

      Or does God ordain actually 2 spouses for the same person, knowing the first will die?


  18. I need help and cclarification. Im currently with a guy. Things has been moving smoothly till he told me last night that I should take some time off and pray to God concerning my dating him if he’s the right guy for me. He says i should wait upon the Lord for an answer and whatever the case may be I should follow the answer. If it says that he isn’t the right one for me i should move on and i don’t know what to do because I’m into this guy and he’s telling me this.how can he expect me to move on if he isn’t the right one.

  19. I need help and clarification. My husband is a bing drinker and occasionally gets his guns out. He has shot it once in the house to make me think he killed himself. Another time he was shooting it in the yard which is dangerous. I am terrified of him when he is drunk. He is verbally abusive and his anger often causes him to destroy things. I can no longer live this way. My psychiatrist and couselor want me to go to a women’s shelter. I am afraid of doing anything against gods will. I have no support system. Please help me? Do I leave and run? His couselor has confronted him and knows I am serious about leaving. My sister who is very godly and a recovered alcoholic confronted him. He makes fun of both of them. Please help me!!

    • Please listen to your counselor and psychiatrist. They know you’re situation, and especially since they are both in agreement, I think you should follow their advice.

  20. You wrote…”There is nothing in Scripture that suggests there is just one person we’re ‘supposed’ to marry….” Sir, This is LIE. I call it a lie because it totally opposes a clear writing in the Holy Bible, and I have to assume that a man of your age in years who is teaching the Word of God in the Name of the Lord Christ Jesus must be familiar with the entire word of God? If not, you should read and believe it ALL before delivering it. The Word of the Lord from the book of Hosea reads: “Then the LORD began to speak through Hosea, the LORD said to him, “Go, marry a promiscuous woman and have children with her, for like an adulterous wife this land is guilty of unfaithfulness to the LORD.” No matter what translation that you are reading, this message is clear, The Father God Will not only “suggest” who a believer should marry, but could also command it. The idea or Argument that this Word of the Lord is obsolete because it’s an old covenant writing, could be imagined to deny, or rebel against The Father’s often perplexing eternal perspectives and will. Or possibly a misinterpretation of the book of Romans in relation to Christ Jesus work on the Cross fulfilling the Law. Whatever the case many good intentions of many Men of God as yourself, have erred from the Faith, and preached an inaccurate Gospel of the Kingdom in attempt to lead people out the bondage of sin and frustration. But it requires prayerful/TOTAL submission to the Spirit of God to accurately understand and teach the Gospel. Including the areas that we don’t like. You are guilty of being the man who unbiblically “separates what God has brought together.” And the grounds that you permit the “little ones” in the Faith to separate under are not anointed. The Grace of God is being misused similar to the Pharasees ignorant desire to fulfill God’s will by killing the Saints of Christ. But instead of persecuting Christ in God’s Name, many who are born again under the new covenant are persecuting God (His Father) in Christ Name. I would seriously URGE, and EXHORT you to seek Holy Spirit guidance with this message. Because the Father DOES/HAS led people to marry specific difficult spouses for the purpose of demonstrating His matchless love and salvation to the Church. No matter how many regrets, discomforts, or tribulations they may live with as a result of who they said I DO to, He leads to lifetime marriage, but sometimes permits divorce for lack of Faith and walking in temporal 1Cor.13 love