Archives For Building Intimacy

If you adopt a wolverine and pour all your love into that animal; if you treat it like a puppy, hugging it and feeding it and playing with it; if you give it the very best care anyone has ever given to a wolverine, the day will still come when that wolverine will attack you, […]

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The point of walking away from toxic people is to walk toward reliable people, hopefully those whom God has supernaturally appointed to be touched in a special and powerful way, and who will be faithful to, in turn, reach others. It can sound arrogant to think that our time is so important or that we […]

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If you want freedom from toxic people, you have to learn how to be okay with others not being okay with you. Historically, I’ve been rather weak in this regard. I hate it when people aren’t okay with me. Even toxic people. That weakness gives them a power they don’t deserve and potential control that […]

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I’ve been in several marathon training groups that begin meeting months before a marathon. It’s astonishing to see how a little bit of daily training takes very ordinary, often very unathletic people, and gently but steadily leads us to a place where we can start running twenty-six miles around breakfast time and finish sometime before […]

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Lisa and I enjoyed a respite from Houston’s heat and humidity in mid-August after I taped a couple shows for Focus on the Family (on the upcoming When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People) and we drove out to Glenwood Springs, Colorado for a few extra days. Lisa’s ideal vacation means five or […]

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August 23, 2019

6 Ways to Grow Back Together

Gary Thomas — 

Emily and William were deeply in love fifteen years and three children ago, but time and responsibility have taken their toll. “In the end, we’re different people who want different things. I’m just not sure we can make it work anymore,” Emily said, and William nodded in agreement. The cynical side of me wanted to […]

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It’s been exactly a year since Lisa went into surgery to have her tumor removed. That morning, she told me she wanted two things. First, she wanted me holding her hand and praying for her as she was taken away, and second, she wanted to wake up from sedation without the breathing tube still in […]

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July 11, 2019

Your Wife’s Privacy

Gary Thomas — 

A friend of mine is a medical doctor who has held the beating heart of a living person in his hands. That blows me away. I can’t even imagine that kind of responsibility. But here’s the thing: every husband has his wife’s “spiritual heart” beating in his hands every day. Our wives make themselves just […]

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[This is an excerpt adapted from my book Loving Him Well: Practical Advice on Influencing Your Husband. Accordingly, it’s focused on wives, but most husbands could figure out the opposite application. Let me also state that this chapter was written for women in satisfying or perhaps disappointing but not abusive relationships.] No woman gets to […]

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July 3, 2019

Arise and Shine

Gary Thomas — 

She looked like a new woman. My coworkers marveled when they finally realized that this was the same woman who had come to see me some weeks ago. The difference was that stark. The first time we had met she felt beaten down. She could hardly speak three sentences without reaching for another Kleenex. But […]

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