Archives For Gary Thomas

April 9, 2016

Dysfunction is a Choice

Gary Thomas — 

Statistics can be terrifying. If a boy’s dad was abusive or unfaithful to his wife, the chances are overwhelmingly higher that he will grow up to be an abuser or to cheat on his wife. If a woman isn’t nurtured by her mom and was raised by an addict, she is far more likely to […]

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James and his wife Debra just recently entered the empty nest years. Happily, they’re finding these months to be among the most delightful of their marriage. I believe James’ attitude has a lot to do with that. James is a big fan of craft beers; it’s become a middle-aged hobby for him. He travels on […]

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My friend Dr. Mike Dittman offers a profoundly refreshing new approach to “counseling.” This is so applicable to friendship, marriage, and parenting: “People have often asked me to help them figure something out or fix something in their lives. They want answers to their questions and affirmation in their struggles, but not to learn how […]

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March 7, 2016

Something New

Gary Thomas — 

  There are oceans of marriage experiences out there just waiting to be explored. Too many of us keep swimming in the same kiddie pool. Danger Mouse (a producer and musician from LA) was in a bar shooting pool when he heard a song come over the speakers that mesmerized him. “I just sat and […]

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In my last post I talked about “functional fixedness,” addressing the question, “What if your husband isn’t motivated by your pain? What if he’s only motivated by his?” We addressed the spiritual issues behind this attitude. You can read that post Why Men Don’t Change. In this post, we’re going to address some of the […]

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February 6, 2016

Why Men Don’t Change

Gary Thomas — 

What if your husband isn’t motivated by your pain? What if he’s only motivated by his? Many wives live with great frustration because they keep telling their husbands that something he is doing (or not doing) is causing them great pain, but the husband never changes. This confuses the wife. She thinks, “If I knew […]

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The very best gift you can give your spouse, spiritually, is a gift that will actually serve you as much as it serves your spouse. Ask yourself, “How can I help my spouse draw closer to God and learn to draw from Him on a daily basis?” Anything you can do to help your spouse […]

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Somebody could be beautiful, funny, a pleasure to be around, and even be active in their church but still not be good marriage material. A few relational “infections” can all but erase many good qualities. Put it this way: a gregarious guy could be a lot of fun to have in the dugout of a […]

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January 16, 2016

Choosing Enthusiasm

Gary Thomas — 

Choosing Enthusiasm One of the best gifts you can give your spouse doesn’t cost anything, it’s appropriate for literally every holiday, and you never have to wrap it. I’m talking about enthusiasm. Lisa and I look at food through two radically different lenses. I eat primarily because I hate being hungry, but food isn’t something […]

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January 9, 2016

He Lies

Gary Thomas — 

He lies to you, all the time. Jesus called Satan “the Father of lies,” and if you want an abundant life and marriage, you have to discern those lies. Satan takes normal marital doldrums and turns it into the story of your life. “It won’t get better, it can’t get better. Your only hope is […]

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